I'm so extremely suicidal and I got to hang on until my will is done and part of my loans settled. My dad used most of his savings to buy a house under my name and if I die without a will, they will go into financial ruin. I keep pushing for my will to be done so that I can go. It makes me cry when I'm contemplating suicide as my parents who have done nothing wrong but have given me the very best in my life are innocent and have nothing to do with my ruined mind. They are in their 60s and are so hopeful that I will be ok in time. They have done everything they can to try to help me but yet I'm suicidal. I'm seeing a psychiatrist and he's given me medication but medication can't solve my real life problem. There is no way out for me and the mental pain is so unbearable. Each day gets worse and worse and I don't know how long can I hang on. I can't buy a gun to blow my brains in my country so I guess I'll have to jump off a building. I'm so desperate to do so but I can't cos several things have to be done first. I love my parents so much but I just can't bear with my mental pain. I know my suicide will ruin their lives forever and thats why I'm hanging on but I dont know how long can I hang on. My girlfriend who loves me so much will also ruined and so is my only sister who is working overseas. My suicide will destroy all of their lives and thats why I'm trying so hard to hang on but it's getting unbearable. I also dont know what to do. Just typing out how i feel.