cay you deal with this alone?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by isitme87, May 26, 2011.

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  1. isitme87

    isitme87 Member

    I don't know why but everyone advice me or in general for people in depression to visit some proffesional specialist.

    And I don't know how it is supposed to work. I guess it's me who is a problem.

    I am really shy, never had friends, if not my brother I would be totally 'alone'. Plus - when I read tips with title: 'how to learn how to be happy' or sth like that I feel like a total loser that I can't do that (or I didn't do that - I am so stupid) plus I am angry as I am always afraid that people not only are rejecting me in this way - like saying I am not normal, I can't do it on my own, they don't want to have nothing in common with me (this kind of thoughts) - other thing why I am getting angry is I believe I am scared - that again somebody wants to take control over my life. I guess I have messed up thinking - I just can't take criticism easily.

    Other thing is that I am scared that I might be mentally ill - which is irrational - as I am afraid that idk? everyone would reject me if I got diagnosed? I would lose control over my life forever? Idk. I know people tell somebody to go to shrink - when they mock others.

    I am really tired of this life - if I wasn't so scared of death I would have already commited suicide.

    So this was background - and my question is - can you deal with this alone? I can see that my chances of succesful suicide aren't really big - I like to think about it and have it in my - let's say - 'fantasy goals' for my life - but idk - I overdosed heavily on some pills and before they even started to work I panicked and forced vomiting - so it proves I don't really want to die. So it's not serious. plus - I was always rather 'pessimistic, gloomy' person - and since I feel worse - so for last 4 years more or less - I wasn't like super-depressed all the time - but never felt normal - so it can't be this usual depression which ends by itself after a years or sth.

    So once again - can you (well - I) deal with this alone? What can I do?
    Other thing is - is there an option I could try conselling without being like officially diagnosed and having to become 'a patient' for some time? Are there people to whom I could talk with - like not on therapy - but just talk?
  2. Monoka

    Monoka Well-Known Member

    if you are diagnosed then you can start to get better. people who mock the work of mental experts and their patients are igrorant and should be ignored.

    being scared of being ill is not irrational, but please talk to someone.
    you will never be rejected on here, but praised for seeking the help you need and moving forward. have you talked to your brother about how your feeling?
    take care
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I agree, once you can identify the problem, you will be able to treat it. Usually, they will first do a psychiatric assessment,then refer you to the people who they feel will be best able to help you. In the long run, its better to get that diagnosis first thing, so go for it , talk to them, they will be able to help you. Good luck :hug:
  4. isitme87

    isitme87 Member

    I see what you are saying.

    I just can't do it. Thats all.

    I am nobody with my stupid problems, getting nowhere - I never wanted to live - to live like that especially.

    But what can I do?


    It must end one day.

    Thanks for the responses though. I just can't stand being like 'officially' "un-normal". I have heard few times in my life that if I changed I could be a cool guy. So nothing changed - if only I wasn't me I would be quite all right.

    The worst thing is that there is no way out. I feel trapped.

    oh - and sure I didn't talk with my brother - which is 4 years younger about my 'feelings'. I mean - it's not what we would talk about.
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