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[Sa Palomera]

http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=49507

And this weekend the damn arsehole was gonna get kicked out, because he hasn't paid back the rent he's behind yet. And now all of a sudden apparently he's in hospital.
I don't know anything about it. Don't know where or why. All the landlord knew was that he's in hospital and the landlord suspects it to be a lie just like so many other things about the guy.

For me it's rather obvious. Either it's a lie, or a suicide attempt.
The guy's been suicidal before. And the shit he's in.. it can't get any worse.

And here I am sitting crying. I miss the way he used to be. I miss my friendship with him. He was one of my 2 best friends. He fucked me over so badly I couldn't feel anything but anger. Still am angry, but this news.. it just got to me :cry:
I am so angry at the guy, he's screwed everyone over, yet I'm crying. Why does it hurt so much? I shouldn't love him still, after everything that's happened.

I wrote him an angry letter the other night, confronting him with all his lies. And now he's 'in hospital'. I can't help but blame myself. If he really is in hospital, that letter might well have pushed him over the edge

I've lost nearly all people that mean anything to me over these past few months. How much more am I supposed to take... :cry:

It's all getting too much for me :cry:

 

[LenaLunacy]

Oh hun, you can't blame yourself for this. Tht's not what your friend would want. I'm sure it isn't your fault.
Things are tough right now ish, but you jus gotta keep trying, doing the best you can.
I'm here for you :hug:

 

[plates]

Est, you don't know why he's in hospital yet.

If he was in for a suicide attempt- I don't think you would be the sole reason for that, it'd be for many many issues.

Try and not blame yourself too much. You've gone through so much and are going through so much......it's completely understandable why you feel like everything is getting on top of you. :hug:

 

[Shauna Lea]

Est remember what I told you if u need to talk xo

 

[LetItGo]

Est you are strong, you've proven that. You've come so damn far over the last 12 months. I hope he recovers. Perhaps it would be positive if you guys had a proper one on one talk, not a shouting match, just a conversation between two people to find out exactly whats going on, past and present. Doing that will give you an insight into his motives, because i think its not knowing "why" thats really causing so much pain. Id fully understand if you didnt want to put yourself through that though.

You cant blame yourself for his actions, his got himself in very deep hole.

Please take care of yourself :hug:

 

[Sa Palomera]

Thanks peeps :hug:

 

[DrowningInTears]

lawl another FAO like me. wat did tehy get u on. I dont know y im posting y im doing anything. My feelings have gotten dimmer and dimmer. just could ******* without any emotion just a mechanical surgical action to kill away this cancer that is myself.

 

[Dave_N]

You just have to follow the site rules and you wont be on forum access only status.

 

[gentlelady]

Just wondering how you were feeling ester.

 

[DrowningInTears]

well i honestly dotn think their ever taking me off it. too many people just are upset with me and/or just dont like me. just forget it it is over just like everything in my life. i dont kno y i bother here everyone has their own probelms they arent going to stop an care about me im just a waste of everyones time. nobody wants to hear me whine and its not like im getting better anyways i just need the strength to find that final action

 

[Sa Palomera]

well i honestly dotn think their ever taking me off it. too many people just are upset with me and/or just dont like me. just forget it it is over just like everything in my life. i dont kno y i bother here everyone has their own probelms they arent going to stop an care about me im just a waste of everyones time. nobody wants to hear me whine and its not like im getting better anyways i just need the strength to find that final action

I know how much it can suck to be FAO, but we gotta try and make the best of it. I don't know what happened for you to be put on FAO, but the staff only does what they deem best for majority of the people. Sometimes that means banning one person from chat :dunno:
And as you say, everyone has their own problems here, that's right, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't come here and talk about yours. Everyone has their shit to deal with, but coming on here and talking about it might relief. Yes we can't make you better, time and possibly a therapist is needed for that, but we can at least be here to listen and possibly offer advice :hug: