Have you ever gone through a change in your life which made you want to give up? It can be such a little thing. In my case, I've been feeling suicidal for around 4 years now, but despite having a few attempts (which have left their scars) I am still here. Those attempts were few and far between, and for the most part, I've managed to survive. I don't know whether this is a mixture of cowardice, fear or survival instinct, but I'm still here. I also think a case has to be made for my support structure, which I myself have set up: my work, social life and faith. My faith helps me get through every Sunday, as going to church is always a wonderful experience. My social life only really consists of a pub quiz each weekend and maybe going out once a month, but it's there. And then there's my work, which is demanding, stressful and sometimes infuriating, but it gets me out the house and I've made it as bearable as humanly possible. I figured that if one of these support structures fell away, then I would collapse as well. Whilst I was struggling to hold on, at least I was, and so could try and fix myself as my life slowly trudged forward. Sadly that is no longer possible due to one thing - my job. As of next Monday I am being moved to a different area of the company. I have worked there before and hated it, but managed to bear it because I knew it was short-term. Now it's a permanent transfer, and I know I will hate it. I was informed by my boss today when I would be moving, and although I tried to argue against it, he said "my mind is made up". I can't afford to quit my job, and I have no real other prospects besides it. I worked in McDonald's before this and was unemployed for a long time before that, so I fear that if I lose this I will have nothing. So this Sunday, I have decided to kill myself. I was never sure what method to take, so I figure if I do several at once it will increase my chances. In a way, this is a positive, as I've needed more motivation to try and find the peace I've craved for a long time. I literally have no-one to talk to about this (or who I am capable of talking to), and so I thought I'd post it hear. Thanks for reading.