The Despondant Ramblings Of One Who Watches The Clock laugh... at me, tease... me. joke... about me. be horrible... to me. make the comments that swell your ego, if it's at my expense then it's no expense at all. after all, who the hell am i? can i be your friend? just to catch someone's smile, a warm one instead of one that says... "ha, ha, look at you!" i know i'm not that pretty, and i know that i'm not that funny, i know that i'm not always that happy... but i just want to be your friend. ha, ha...look at me. i stand there...i asked a question, i'm met with distain... who the hell are you to ask that? i crack a joke, i get looked at strangely... what the hell are you doing saying that? eyes water, head down...i stutter out words to describe this ache... you tell me to shut up. "will you just stop moaning? the world turns... but it doesn't turn for you." fragile...i tip toe around words, that come natural to the rest of you... what if i say the wrong thing? i should have realised... "but, child, everything you say is the wrong thing..." i am legal to drink, to vote, to drive a car... and yet...i am treated like ones of a tender age... too stupid to think their own thoughts. i just want to be your friend. shaking, i shuffle home... another day of my being looked down upon. i stifle my tears....watery eyes and an aching heart, only serve me to be more disliked. the key through my door, i sit on my bed... "why don't they like me?" i call to the air...where is my answer? i close my eyes...giving in to my sobs, they arrive quickly...sharp, loud, and all mine. i set my alarm clock, to annouce when the new dawn has arrived... and i set my mind... to remind me not to expect tomorrow... to be any less of death sentance, then i expected it not to be, yesterday.