Changed person

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by James1388, Dec 6, 2009.

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  1. James1388

    James1388 New Member

    I hope that I: 1. Reach out to someone else with my post
    2. I need to get it off my chest

    I am about to graduate college in may. I have a lot going for me. I had a good girlfriend but we were unhappy together. I know I was a lot of the time and we fought way too much. But she broke up with me on friday after thanksgiving because I got in an argument with her and told her I was going to commit suicide since she broke up with me. I was really drunk and swallowed like 20 Tylenol. I woke up the next day with a huge hang over and was ok. I was still distraught and feeling depressed. On Saturday I didnt do anything but try to get back with her. I was driving myself crazy. I couldnt take the fact that we were going to break up but it was for the best.

    She was serious about breaking up. My sister has some serious mental issues, and she had a presecription for klonopin. I swallowed just about a whole bottle and drove 5 hours back to school, crying because she broke up with me. I was freaking out and it made me black out. I dont remember anything from Sunday night until Monday morning. I puked like 5 times and tried so hard to talk to her and talked to all of her friends. I freaked out. I was really trying to commit suicide with the klonopin because I thought it would kill me.

    Anyway since I wouldnt leave her alone she took out a restraining order, she overracted way overreacted because my friends witnessed it and so did my mom and they all told me that I did nothing that threatened her, just threatened my life to her and her best friend. I woke up on Tuesday morning to sherrifs arresting me and taking me away to jail. I sat in jail for 12 hours and am facing harrasment / stalking charges but its a really weak case that I will probably be fine. I just have to leave her alone.

    But more importantly klonopin is messed up. No one knows I took it. I realized while in jail that I have so much going for me and I didnt really want to be with her. It just now sucks that I have these charges that I have to take care of.

    Life is great. Family is always going to be there for you. Friends will always be there for you. Thats all you need. My girlfriend became not my friend and thats why we are not together. Suicide is not the answer, ever. I am so much stronger now and have really changed for the better, like a ton. This was the most negative positive experience for me and I am so happy that I am alive and no one knows about the klonopin. I thank god now that I am still able to sit her and write this. Things in life sometimes dont make sense at the time but later you realize why it happened.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am glad you now can see who your real friends are and have moved on. I would tell your lawyer about the med overdose though maybe help your case idont know... I hope you meet someone even better and glad you realize suicide is not the answer there are so many other options take care.
  3. Bravo for realizing that you do not need to harm yourself over someone who no longer wants you and who you yourself no longer need/want. (something I never learned) But you are smart to have not done anything that is visible physically and hopefully the charges will be dropped and you can go on to have a bright and rewarding future!
  4. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    Isnt it crazy how crazy we can get??? We let our minds run wild and we have almost no control over our actions and then after a few days we start to think rationally again. We just go into panic mode, like we cant live without that person, even when we know we are unhappy being with them. It sounds like the way i think, your partner was a comfort blanket to you and you felt lost without her but now you have time to breath, you can see clearly that this isnt the end of the world. :)

    Im happy you see the positive outta this. I hope the charges are dropped on some technicality or something :) fingers crossed!!
  5. James1388

    James1388 New Member

    Thanks for the support. I feel so good. I have had a lot of extra time to just chill with people that I didn't before. My life literally revolved around her and I just didn't know what to do. Every day things are getting better. I want others to know what I know without having to experience all this first hand.
  6. stormfront

    stormfront Member

    I remember wanting to kill myself after a relationship ended. How I called her endlessly begging her to come back to me, envisioning my death on her shoulders.

    Man, how I'm glad that never came to fruition - I wound up meeting someone 100x better, 100x more beautiful. Still together after 22 years.

    The ex? Last I heard, she was on her 2nd divorce. Her loss.
  7. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    That's wonderful news! I'm glad you're getting your life back on track and saw the brighter side of something that could have dragged you down even further. Well done & I really hope you enjoy the rest of what life has to offer you. :smile:
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