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Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MoAnamCara, Mar 8, 2012.

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  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Firstly, thank you to those of you who supported me on my leave from here and/or posted to my leave message. I sincerely wish those I talk with much good.

    Its been an interesting couple of weeks. But, unfortunately, not in a good way. Things have turned south in the situation I am dealing with. I am beyond sad, more numb at this stage, trying to cope.

    My most recent si was two nights ago. I was triggered by something unknown, had an unpleasant physical reaction out of nowhere. My mind was blank, not thinking on anything in particular at the time, it threw me for a loop. And so, si was the result.

    It is my ONLY way of having any control in my life currently, or so it feels. That, and ultimately a way out once this is over.

    I have started to distance myself from my T, which isn't a good sign. Things are so hard, I haven't been completely honest with my feelings & thoughts to some of those of you I've been in contact with. IRL people have NO idea of my true thoughts, feelings, actions and future intentions.

    Theres not much else to say.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Mo...you are under so much stress and have to watch so much sadness, that it is no wonder you need that relief...please continue to talk to us...as you know, so many of us care so much about you...my days would be so much more painful without your caring texts...thank you for being so attentive to me, and being my friend.
  3. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    It is an awful situation you are in my friend.
    Can you tell your T the truth of how you feel?

    We must chat again some time.
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    hi Mo...i'm pleased to see you posting again
    you are under so much stress so don't be too hard on yourself for how you're coping
    it must be extremely difficult for you but you hold on and that's important for your friends and your "one''
    I wish you could tell you T the whole situation but understand how hard that is at times
    remember we care about you here :arms:
    I've missed you
  5. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you -

    You (sadeyes, windle & IV) are like the three musketeers to my posts, I mean that in a thankful way.

    CT this morning, should hear back today. :(
  6. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I bagsy being Aramis, I hear he smells nice.
    Seriously though it's always been mutual support Mo.

    Good luck for the CT.
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Mo, Sorry to hear this , this way.. You know I am here for you.. I'm glad you email me.. It helps you to talk a little straighter about whats happening..Your friend always,Joseph
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    and we ..the 3 musketeers will fight for you anytime Mo :fence:
  9. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Thank you for your support. I REALLY mean this. There's no way ever I could repay all of your kindness.

    The results were awful. I'll leave it at that. :(
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 9, 2012
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