I first posted here when I was 15. I didn't know why I wanted to die - nothing has ever happened to me to make life difficult - I only knew that I didn't want to live. That hasn't changed. The only thing I'm sure of is I am suicidal, every day. Some days, it's all I can think about. I'm 22 now, as of today, coincidently. Here is what I've learned in those 7 years of trying to change myself; to learn to love life. It's hard. If you are in a deep dark pit, you need a helping hand. You need to tell someone. It will hurt. You need to open up. It's painful if you are too proud or too shy. It's a long road. The key to enjoying life and finding was you seek is, paradoxically, willpower and discipline. These can be improved, with effort. Keep trying. You will let yourself down. Others will let you down. Keep trying and sometimes you get further; eventually you might make it. Life is worth it - probably - I haven't got this far yet. It's a long climb from the bottom of our pit. It's hard enough for others already that aren't psychologically disadvantaged, if you want to think of it as that. However - Not all of us are strong enough. No one should ever judge you for opting out of life if you have given it you best effort. Personally I don't.think I'm strong enough, but I can say I tried. You get one life, so TRY, try hard and die knowing you tried. Anyone who judges you or thinks you are selfish should stop and consider their hypocrisy. Well, its been a while since I posted. Years. I though I should just to post my experience, just incase I finish up my journey.