Changing personality completely. Depression or BPD?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by feathers, Nov 16, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    As I outlined in the suicide section of the forum a few hours ago, I feel like I can be a completely different person. During the day I can be so happy, hoping I'm pregnant, can't wait 'til I get my bump, can't wait 'til my baby's born, etc etc. I'm nice to my boyfriend of course, I'm a nice outgoing person who is friendly.

    Then, later on, I am extremely suicidal. I hate being alive. I hate life, I just want to die, to end the pain, and to be at peace. My thoughts on the baby change - it was horrible, terrible of me to even risk bringing an innocent child into this vile, cruel world full of pain and disappointment. I think the best thing for myself would be to die to end the pain, I think the best thing for the child would be to save it from ever having to suffer the pain of this world. I go from an outgoing friendly person to an introverted, angry, bitter, miserable, suicidal hermit who sits and does not speak, and when they do it is usually a one word answer. I'm mean to my boyfriend and to my friends and don't care if I hurt them. I self harm and think about dying.

    Do other depressed non-BPD people get this type of thing to this extent, or is this a trait of BPD?

    K x
  2. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Sometimes, I get this utter boost in the morning and mid day, where I feel able to do things, but then when the evening comes, I feel the pressure and all those things that i felt I could do feel the exact opposite. Im realizing it's pressure kicking in, and the flipside is usually beaten by feeling tired and getting sleep.

    I dont think it's BPD. It could simply be pressure. Im finding the best thing is to do as much as I can when I feel happy, and look at my succes(if there ever is any) when I feel down.
  3. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    I already believe I have BPD for many other reasons and I am seeing a psychiatrist next month for it. I know depressed people can have ups and downs I am just wondering if it is normal for depressed people to feel it to these extremes.

    When I am down, there is nothing I can do to make myself feel better. It is literally like I turn into a different person. I don't even want to feel better, I refuse to take pills to calm me down, I refuse to even try to stop having panic attacks.
  4. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Ive been in a similar position where id hit rock bottom. Though I have to say it wasnt that of an extreme shift.

    Do you start high and then gradually flow downward or is abrupt? or is it a combination of outside stiumlations aswell?
    Glad you're going to talk to somoene, I reckon it helps alot of people to just get things out there in words and have someone to bounce from.
  5. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    I have enough people to talk to, friends whatever, I'm beyond the point of talking helping, but hoping the psychiatrist can give me a diagnosis and further treatment from there.

    yes, it is a very abrupt shift. Very extreme. I know the way I behave is terrifying to witness because my boyfriend at one point ended up in tears on the phone to the crisis team and taking me to A&E, and that just came on randomly.
  6. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Owhr :( I hope this meeting will be benifical then. Though, just dont give up on the talking part. Perhaps you just havent met the right people to talk to.
    Ive also had times when I've just flipped. Though they were rare, it was due to alot of things just pileing up and me not being to hold them back, and one little thing unrelated set me off. I learned to seperate alot of things and take on one thing at a time. It's helped.

    That sounds really dis heartening for you :( But it's really nice to see how you look at it :) I just mean, even though it's uncomfortable, you have a really nice perception and awareness of yourself.
  7. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Thank you for the replies. You might see me posting about on how the psych goes. :/

    I'm hoping for a diagnosis. Any form of answer or explanation for all of this, y'know?
  8. Screaminginsilence

    Screaminginsilence Well-Known Member

    I understand how your feeling, it happens to me

    I don't know what to suggest really, I've had counselling, a psych assesment, every med available to man kind and it only really takes the edge off

    Best advice i can give is to keep a journal of when, where, why, how you feel. Write what makes you feel good, that way then your having a blip you have somthing to read to help you feel better

    Learning what you have isn't the battle - its finding a way to cope with it that is.

    Keep your chin up and remember you can always lean on your mates x
  9. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Hmmm ok then are you talking about bi-polar or borderline personality?
  10. feathers

    feathers Well-Known Member

    Chuck, it's Borderline I'm talking about.

    Screaminginsilence, thank you for the advice.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.