Changing Priorities

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by 1Lefty, Mar 24, 2012.

  1. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    I see the introductory posts, the suicide posts, the crisis posts, so many of them at the breaking point because of loneliness.

    At 33, I was single, I'd dated my share of women that my friends drooled after, but they always ended 'Maybe we should see other people for awhile"", "This just isn't working out" "I've found someone else"
    But still, single is single. I was short, but not otherwise bad looking, intelligent, good sense of humor, almost a new car, shopping for a house, making some decent money. But women came and went.
    I started considering what I had to offer in a long-term relationship - and on my list, most of the items were physical. I didn't really have a lot under the surface, or at least that wasn't what I presented. And on my list of what I really wanted in a woman was similar - surface, physical attributes, starting with good looks from face on down. After a while, I started adding other qualities - both of myself that I could offer, and which qualities I could accept in a woman.
    Once I started looking for a woman's personality, her honesty, depth of character, a good mind, patience, kindness, I found that there were quite a few women out there that matched those criteria, looking for a match in a man. And once I spent some time with such a woman, I found she brought out the best in me.
    And if I extended my physical priorities, to include women carrying a little extra weight, or maybe of a different race or religion, there were so many women just waiting for a man to give them a little attention.
    At 35, I was happily married, to a woman who fit none of my first requirements, but all of my second. She gave me the the finest
    15 years of my life, and we'd still be together, but she passed away,
    All it really took was opening my mind.
  2. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    Changing priorities is's always good to look at your inside...but never try to change yourself to please others...always stay who you are (but in my's just a disaster...)
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Ah Lefty I think you've realized the truth about relationships...It's what's on the inside that counts and not just 'looks'
    hope all the guys reading this find it helpful :hug:
  4. 1Lefty

    1Lefty Well-Known Member

    Hi Marjoke - I don't mean changing yourself to please others, it means emphasizing the good qualities you do have. When I saw how my wife related to and treated children, and elderly people, I knew that she was someone I wanted with me. I was considering what if I had a family, or what happens if I get old? I guess you could say she was a young woman with an old soul. And there are men out there like that ,too. They usually don't spend much time at bars, they might be found at a church or doing volunteer work. Someone who realizes it's not all about them. Sometimes it's how much joy or understanding that you can bring to a situation, rather than what you can get out of it, or what's in it for you.
  5. marjoke

    marjoke Account Closed

    I know what you mean 1Lefty

    You had a wonderfull wife...
    I'm so sorry she passed away so early...

    It's not easy to find persons with a lot of depth, who are selflessly helping others...but they and you're wife are precious little diamonds...