Cheated and Depressed

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by pwilliz, Jun 7, 2013.

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  1. pwilliz

    pwilliz New Member

    I cheated on my boyfriend. We've been together for 7 years, and I just messed everything up. I was with a friend, we kissed and it happened, and I didn't stop it---I should have stopped it. After it was done, I told my friend that I just did something completely wrong, and I had to leave. We cut off all communication. I can't allow myself to be near that person again.

    I knew it was wrong, and I feel awful. I told my boyfriend when I got home, and he said that I can stay in the house. I don't know how he can stand to look at me. Of course, everything has changed. I didn't know how good I had it until I destroyed it. I don't know why I'm self destructive, but I seem to put myself in situations that are impossible to resolve. I'm overwhelmed by this mistake and feeling very depressed. I was very hungry ordered food, and ate about six bites. I can't bear what I've done to him, what I've done to us. Everything is wrong and there is no fixing this.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    There is fixing it hun go to a couples therapy work on why it happened and how to prevent it from happening again Together you both can grow and he can learn to trust you again
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi. First of all, welcome to suicide forum. Sometimes the other person is willing to work on things. Especially if they see that the person who cheated has taken steps to get help for themselves and what caused them to cheat.

    You said that you dont know why you are self destrucive and that you put yourself in situations that are impossible to resolve. Do you think it might be a good time to get some therapy to begin to figure this out? Maybe at some point when he sees you have been working on your issues he will begin to trust that you will not do this again. Getting help is the best way to show him that you are serious about changing. Either way, if you can get therapy then you will begin to heal whats underneeth all of this.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there, if he's said you can stay then maybe you can mend things? As suggested above, why not try therapy for the both of you to fix the relationship (if both willing)? It's an idea, I dunno how good or bad, :hug: we are here for you no matter what you decide to do.
  5. stormfront

    stormfront Member

    If its any consolation, I was dating my girl (now wife) for a few years when I did the same thing - this happened over 20 years ago. Yeah, it sucked at the time, but we worked through it (a lot of fighting, splitting up, back together, splitting up again, back again). Compared to everything we've been through since, its not even a blip on our relationship now.
  6. melbourne90

    melbourne90 Member

    Like some others have mentioned, now may be a good time to see a therapist. For yourself, to discover the root of your self destructiveness, but also as a couple.
    After someone has cheated, the relationship will in 99% of cases change, but it doesn't always mean the end of the relationship. If you and your partner still love each other and are both willing to work at it, you have a chance to make the relationship stronger. Usually no one would cheat if there wasn't something missing from the relationship. Maybe this is what it took for you to realise how much you love your partner? If that is the case, fight for it. Good luck x
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