I haven't posted in a while. Today is weird. It's creeping back into my mind again. For the past few weeks, my security blanket hasn't been there. Haven't felt the need to even think about it. My ex has moved on with his life. Found a new girl. (Dear god, this is going to sound so juvenile). Even changed his FB status. Something I couldn't get in three years. Yeah, that felt like a punch to the gut. So I started going on an online dating site. Have been on 5 dates? Two of them were just out for tail, the other.....the other sets my gaydar off so hard I think it broke. So things are creeping back on me again. I feel hysterical and out of control.