Cheer corner strikes again

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Terry, Mar 22, 2012.

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  1. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Gentle Thoughts

    Birds of a feather flock together . . . and then crap on your car.

    A penny saved is a government oversight.

    The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    He who hesitates is probably right.

    Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

    If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

    The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

    Did you ever notice:

    When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

    Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

    Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

    When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.

    You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

    One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

    Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth . . . AMEN!
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Three little Pigs


    Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.

    The waiter came and took their drink order.

    ' I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy.

    ' I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy.

    ' I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

    The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

    ' I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy.

    ' I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy.

    ' I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

    The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

    ' I want a banana split,' said the first piggy.

    ' I want a cheesecake,' said the second piggy

    ' I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy

    ' Pardon me for asking,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,'

    But why have you only ordered beer all evening?'

    You're gonna LOVE me for this...

    The third piggy says -

    'Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

  3. lightbeam

    lightbeam Antiquities Friend

  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support


  5. Raven

    Raven Guest

    A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the
    young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The farmer is impressed.
    At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. Next morning,not only is the rooster screwin...g the hens but he is screwing the turkeys,ducks even the cow.
    Later farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead and vultures circling overhead.
    The farmer runs out, looks down at the young roosters limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!"
    And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, Shhhh!,they are about to land."
  6. Lol..
  7. ThornThatNeverHeals

    ThornThatNeverHeals Well-Known Member

    hahahaha wee wee wee all the way home, thats one for the geico commercials!
  8. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    :lol!: Raven
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