Child birth?

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Avarice, Feb 9, 2010.

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  1. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Hey, so I saw a documentary tonight on TV called 'One A Minute' showing the lives of midwifes and how busy it can be given that apparently there is one baby born every minute. But.. watching those women go through child birth, caesarean sections, etc., it freaked me out. I've always wanted kids, but I can't stand pain. I've heard such horror stories about ripping & stitches and how the epidural has, I think, a 0.1% chance of causing you to be paralysed from the waist down permanently; it all just frightens me. Even to the point where I'm now not so sure if I even want kids because of the pain I'd have go through having the baby. Oh and then there is the pooping while giving birth & having some doctor/nurse poking around under your robe. I don't want anyone touching me there, thank you. :unsure:

    I'd really like to hear from people here who have had a child and what it was like going through child birth, whether it be caesarean, natural, water birth, anything! Also, has anyone else had these worries or still have them concerning giving birth?
  2. Epiphany

    Epiphany Well-Known Member

    How can you want a child but not want someone looking down there? I'm pretty sure that happens while engaged in the act... And really, most women don't remember the pain from child birth. Plus, there are far worse things out there than child birth.

    If you really don't want to go through child birth, adopt. There are more than enough unloved and abandoned children in the world that could use a caring parent...
  3. emozillapwnsyourface

    emozillapwnsyourface Well-Known Member

    It scares me too >.<
  4. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    By "anyone" I mean in terms of strangers - gynacologist, doctors, nurses, midwifes, etc., when with a partner they don't prod and poke you and stare at you 'down there' like the aforementioned people would (Okay maybe in some acts they would, yes, but a partner is different to a total stranger!). Yes, there are far worse things than child birth, but I'm still allowed to worry.

    Adopting isn't really the same; I'd really like a kid that was of my own flesh & blood. Even if I just have one and then adopt more afterwards.
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    If childbirth was as horrible as we all think it is, we would never have more than 1 baby. I've been pregnant 6 times ( I lost 2). I've had drugged, epideral, natural and emergency c section. Not going to lie. Some were uncomfortable and others down right nasty. But the second they put that little person in your arms you really do forget all about it. The little bit you have to endure is so worth what you obtain for the efforts.

    You need to make sure you take care of yourself first. Proper diet and exercise. Giving that baby the best start from the beginning. There are also prenatal checkups that you should keep. There are also "birthing" classes you can take with your partner or whoever you might wish to be in the delivery room with you. There are exercises that you can do before delivery to make it easier on your muscles and body. There are many different options that you can choose for the delivery. But remember that you choose what will be best for you. Too many Mom's to be hear all the other Mom's saying "oh I had a natural childbirth, the only one to have." There is no shame in taking the drugs if you need to. This is an experience you want to remember. Yes the first one is pretty scary cuz you dont know (no matter how many childbirth stories you hear) exactly what to expect. But it is even more of a miracle to share in than to be afraid of. Please dont be afraid of having a child. Just make sure you are ready to have that child.
  6. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    I was terrified before my first child... I exercised and stretched, read lots, did everything I could to make it easier - nutrition etc... and chose to have the child naturally with medical help available if needed... The pain killer given is usually at a point when you have already gone through most of the pain from what I see! The birth went through as planned - no intervention, no pain killer, no knives no stitches... You see I was prepared and in control - I could feel what was going on so I didn't tear myself and Thank G-d I had no complications for the first child... That is no guarantee, but it can work - 14 and a half hours of labor and I was holding a beautiful child - and recovery went quickly.

    Painful, yes - but worth it - like extremely strenuous exercise. What looks the worst in those films is the extreme work it takes... the pushing stage is the best part (and looks the worst) because you are no longer waiting for the body to do the work - you get to help it along and it actually feels like a release, yes, uncomfortable but not as bad as the transition between stages.

    I have given birth 7 times: each time was different - but always without intrusive intervention, stitches, cuts, or tearing of the tissues. What helped me the most was making my own decisions - having the same doctor or midwife, that I knew and trusted there at all times, and only 2 of the seven were born in a hospital - the first 'cause I didn't know what to expect... and the last because of my age - the risk would've been too great for the baby - to do otherwise. I also hate the "strangers" at the hospital scene too. I made sure ahead of time that I would be allowed to move around and choose what felt most comfortable for me - even at the hospital.

    Complications I have had: I gave birth to a breech baby - 2 and a half hours labor; with one there was a prolapsed chord - so I had to push quickly without the help of the contractions... only about 7 hours labor total, less than a minute pushing with that one... One baby had an extremely large head and I went through 3 days labor - whew! ; and one had the chord around his neck so the midwife had to reach in and loop the chord off the neck - 4 hour labor... So, out of seven - 3 were within the realm of "normal" and 4 had mild complications...

    None of the births were unbearable, some more difficult than others - but so are the children :) Scary, absolutely - every time! No matter what the birthing experience - it is the end result, that mind boggling, beautiful, full of potential gift that is placed in your arms, that makes whatever you go through worth it! There are truly no words to describe....

    I won't say don't be afraid - it is normal to be afraid... I will say don't let fear be the reason to not have a baby - there are plenty of other reasons to consider - stability, support system, maturity and the emotional strength and ability to give of yourself to completely care for the needs of another.

    Sorry about being long-winded...this is one area I have had experience with :biggrin:

    Good luck - take care -
  7. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the replies - they've really helped ease my mind. :) Three days in labour sounds intense! I hope I won't have to go through it for anywhere near that long! I've personally always been drawn towards water births as water often makes me feel more at ease, so I might look more into that when the time comes that I'm ready for a baby.

    Thank you both so much. :smile:
  8. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member has quite a few videos pertaining to the subject. This one is particularly enlightening.
  9. I scare even sex too much that I would really ever try it. Not even if my generally scare of men ever stopped.

    My thought is if you really let someone use your place, you may start to believe it if it possible stuff there something, it is also possible take something out of there...

    I scream for both thoughts. If I would be balance and adult some day I could adopt. I cannot see difference between my own dna and anothers dna. It is my child from day when it lives with me no matter where that child came. Ex-marriage or what ever, no matter.

    That day never will come...

    ...And all I wanted 12 kids like my gm had... I can laugh for it now!
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