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Child Sexual Abuse

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by lost_child, Sep 16, 2008.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    Is there life after abuse?
    Can you live after abuse?
    Can you be happy?
    Can you be free?
    Can you be content?
    Can you trust?
    Can you love?
    Can you be held?
    Can you heal?
    Can you move on?
    Can you let go?
    Can you win?
    Will there always be memories?
    Will I always be lost?
    Will I ever find peace with myself?

  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Maybe you can't see it now, and maybe it will take a very long time, but it IS possible. Try to keep that knowing in your heart, despite how bad it gets, despite how low you get, keep that light in your heart, that life can get better. You don't know what might happen in the future that could bring you to a new place.
    praying for you,
  3. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    i think the answer can be yes.
    i hope so much it can be, one day.

    thinking of you :hug:
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Thinking of you hun.

    Big hugs :arms:

    It does get easier in time, not easier to forget, that doesn't happen but it get's easier to live with.

    Baby steps hunny :hug:

  5. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hey Sweetie,

    Massive hugs :arms:

    You don't need to do this alone. Please let us know you're ok.

  6. Bonster

    Bonster Member

    This is my issue as well. I have not recovered. I have lost hope. I know that it is possible for some people to live productive meaningful lives as adults with the right help. There is a great trauma hospital in New Orleans called River Oaks. They are wonderful. Great things can happen there. For me, I don't believe there's anything left, but for you, it is possible. Go for it if you still have hope and are willing to do the work.
  7. littlewing

    littlewing New Member

    I was abused everyday for 3 years. Its been 12 years since it stopped. It has never left me. Not a day goes by when I haven't thought about it in some way. So unfortunately for me the answer is no. I wonder if there are others that can say yes, do those people exist?
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    People say things get easier after time, but that hasn't been the case for me. The images still come back to me from time to time..so I'd have to say no.
  9. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Maybe they won't get slowly better as time goes on. Maybe they will stay at maximum intensity, and then drop suddenly in a moment of forgiveness, revelation, whatever. You never know.
  10. hopeless

    hopeless Well-Known Member

    for me the answer is no.

    i've tried to live life as i've been told
    i've married and i have a daughter of my own

    i can't even be intimate with my husband without problems
    it frustrates him to no end.
  11. Nicki

    Nicki Active Member


    I was abused by both of them!! i cant say there names...I cant forget or forgive God i wish i could,,The pain will always be there...I trying hard to live with it but with everyday problems in life i cant do it!!
  12. NoRegrets

    NoRegrets Well-Known Member

    It's very very difficult.
    And I still live in pain because of it.
    But you CAN have the support of people who care about you.

    And it helps.

  13. mourningseraph

    mourningseraph Well-Known Member

    no, not for me. :cry:
  14. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    Its impossible to survive after rape & abuse, not only does it steal your innocence but the scars never heal, the reminders are always there, you can't have a normal relationship, your never able to decide who you want to lose your virginity to, who your first kiss will be with, trust of everyone is destroyed always wondering if that person will manuipulate and use you, you can't walk the streets without fear that somebody is going to attack you, rape you, kill you. You can't be held by anyone as the fear of hands on you scares the living daylights out of you. Normal everyday things that so many people take for granted, rights of humans, all have been taken. I've been raped, sexually, physically & mentally abused since I was about 4 until janaury this year, I'm now 29....I've had counselling for over 3 years, it didn't help....

    Someone told me yesterday that ppl get over being abused, she'd never been abused.......maybe alot of people can let go, move on, settle down, formal relationships, however I'm not able to..

    so....IMO abuse kills.
  15. mourningseraph

    mourningseraph Well-Known Member

    I completely agree with lost_child.
  16. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    My answer to all the above is yes, it is possible but it depends on support and counselling.
  17. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I had counselling when I was first 15 and then again when I was 26 for 2 1/2 years, It didn't help me...my counsellor then suddenly left a month after I reported one of my abusers to the police...counselling & support everything went the moment I reported, the worse thing I've ever done.

    So I don't agree, you don't ever move on, let go..part of them will always be with you, there be then when your scared to do something, when you hear certain words, they with you when you don't do something because of them, or you do because of them. When you cut your body because you feel them back there touching you, when you hear they voice telling you that you shouldn't have told and now you will be punished, when you can be out driving and a song will be on the radio to remind you and take you back there, the taste, the feel, the smell, everything, your back there, reliving it all..you can't control when it happens, or how you will react its not as simple as that.

    It has destroyed me, and its not him winning because its not a game, if it was a game then someone failed to mention that to me...
  18. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    :cry: doesn't quite go away although you try to trick yourself into believeing it will or it has

    comes back and beats you in the face at the worst possible moment

  19. TBear

    TBear Antiquities Friend

    Will I ever be able to forget - no!...Will I ever be the same as others - no! Too much has been stolen from me and the only way to get better is to quit fighting it and avoiding it - face it...Which is the hardest thing to do and can only be done with help...not alone. And it is excrutiating and SLOW and sometimes it seems harder than going thru it in the first place - yet one day it is as if you don't live it every moment - only most of the time; and when it hits you the impact is less... and it does get better...and I have to believe that healing is possible because I've seen progress if only a little.

    Keep reaching out - there are people you can trust, and know that you are worth taking care of - so let others care. Every part of the healing is the worst. Hang on just one more moment, hour, day, week ... It is worth it

    It will never go away, but I'm told, and see in part, that you learn to accept, and you cry... but only after you learn to turn your anger on the perpetrator, not on yourself. Everyone is different and no two people suffer exactly the same way so you can't compare...Just give yourself time and realize the strength you have to have made it this far! You will not be the same as others - you will come through stronger.
  20. Rockster

    Rockster Guest

    I have never been through this myself but i have a fair few friends that have and all i can say is my hat goes off to each and every one of you, i honestly don't think i would be able to cope with it, the strength that wach one of you posess is immense, even if you don't realise it.
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