When I was a child I was molested and because of this I have a deep traumatizing fear of oral sex. I'm going to keep this vague to avoid offending anyone but any time I feel pressured to take part in anything involving mouth and genitals I am filled with panic. I cry and try to escape even though the person who caused my fear is no where near me. My boyfriend of over a year knows this but he told me today that he's been unsatisfied for months due to lack of oral sex. It felt like he was blaming me for not trying but I'm so scared of doing something like that. It feels wrong. My boyfriend and I got into an argument about it for the better part of the day. I thought he'd be more considrate of my past, at least handle the topic gently but he didn't. He was rude and cold to me. He hasn't shown me affection all week prior to this. He wouldn't hold me or say I love you. He kicked me out of his apartment for a couple days saying I was cheating on him even though I would never do that to him. I make him that misearable and this means that much to him I guess. I'm scared I won't be able to make him happy and he will forever be miserable with me. But I can't help think, someone who ignores the emotions I go through when put under that kind of pressure doesn't deserve a forever with me, miserable or not. I don't know how we can both walk away from this situation happy. Can anyone give any suggestions on how to make him understand why I'm not ready to do something like that?