I've read a number of posts where people are saying that they're resisting suicide because they've got kids ... but in my case it's my children who are making me feel suicidal! I'm 63 and I've been divorced for a long time. My two children are in their 30s. My son and his girlfriend have a little boy who will be 6 years old next month. I'm not allowed to see him. I've no idea why. I saw him when he was just a few days old (when he was brought home from the maternity hospital) and that's the only time I've seen him. I'm not allowed to have a photo of him, so I don't even know what he looks like. My daughter is expecting her first baby next month. I *thought* we had a good relationship, but last month (out of the blue) she decided that she didn't want any more contact with me ... so I doubt very much that I'll be allowed to have contact with her baby either. I guess people must wonder what on earth is wrong with me? Nothing ... as far as I know! I'm just an ordinary person. I don't have any peculiar habits or outlandish opinions. My appearance is 'normal' and I don't have any health issues. I always used to be considered kind and thoughtful (I probably still would be kind and thoughtful if I had someone to be kind and thoughtful to!) I've never done anyone any harm. I have a nice little house beside the sea-side, with a garden that attracts a lot of wild-life. I taught art and art history before I retired ... and I think I would make a good grandma as I could help the little ones with painting and making things. I took early retirement from teaching to look after my Mum (she had dementia) ... Just before Mum died I started a little e-commerce business: selling craft items that I'd made at home. It was quite successful; I enjoyed making things and receiving positive comments from customers; and the little bit of profit that I made was a useful addition to my pension! Unfortunately though it was my daughter who created the website for my business ... and this morning I discovered that (without warning) she'd cancelled the account with the website hosts: so my business has disappeared into cyber-space. I'm wondering whether life is worth bothering about if I'm always going to be so socially isolated.