choices:

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by akaangela, Dec 18, 2007.

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  1. akaangela

    akaangela Member

    They gave me a choice and a bad choice I made. You see I have asthma and nothing was working. They said (the dr's) said take steroids and you can breath. "but dr they send me into depression. Mental health is not covered in my health insurance." I tried to tell them and I am alone. No one will listen.

    So I caved in like I always do. I started taking them. Before I was getting by. Now I can not see any hope of anything. I cant seem to care about living or dying. I know this is wrong. I KNOW I should care but I feel dead inside.

    I cry because I know what is coming. The darkness. I tell myself I can make it. I will survive. Think about all those you would leave behind. The ones that care and love you. I know this but it is so hard. The pain gets so bad and there is no exscape.

    Tonight I know I will be "safe" as there is an open house at my place I can't cancle. Maybe that will get me over the bad part. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I just forget sometimes. I have a hard time remembering that life is worth living. I know it is but trying to remember is hard. With the remembering comes the pain. Why dose living have to hurt so bad?
     
  2. I am sorry to see you going through this, I am having the same problem through everything, i keep thinking about all the loved ones that I would be leaving behind and it is the only think keeping me away from the darkness. I really have nothing to add to you in assistance since i am going through the same problems.. But i can offer myself in friendship to help you get through it with me.


    People keep saying it will get better, But I have yet to see it change without us changing it, first. And even then i am still dead inside, The cold feelings come from within and it is very hard to understand.
     
  3. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    :welcome: first off here. i'm sorry to hear this is an issue for you atm. please i can only encourage you to try and find a plan that will treat mental health issues. as one who tries to be maybe too optimistic sometimes i have to believe there is something out there. i encourage you to look and good luck. please take care
     
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