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Christian Struggling with Wanting to Die (VERY LONG)

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by lepeep, Sep 18, 2010.

  1. lepeep

    lepeep Member

    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2011
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    your parents would know and you did right thing filing for divorce i hope you move out and get a new place so you can start a new beginning for you. the way to meet new friends is to get out and be amongst people There must be community events with your church where you can connect to a real christian who will care I hope also you can talk to a therapist about your abuse mental and physical and get help to heal from that. You have your parents they love you and would miss you terrible Time for you to start thinking about you and get help do something to help you now okay.
  3. lepeep

    lepeep Member

    *I don't attend church..and I have no way of going. I'm a member of a Christian forum and they simply tell me not to worry about my salvation. That isn't enough to ease my fears though..one side says that the Lord's grace will be enough, but Scripture seems clear to me- divorce WITHOUT infidelity is comparable to murder, it is a sin that cannot be undone or turned away from like lying. Divorce is permanent and I feel like God will condemn me over it anyhow, so there's no hope for me here or in the afterlife now.
  4. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Your story tells me the why's of why you are suicidal. These things I understand as I have a lot of stuff in my life that lead me down the road to want to kill myself even though I am a Christian.

    Many who say they are Christians are not or they are backslid-en.

    Mathew 7:20 "Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them."
    Galations 5:19-21 Is about the works of the flesh.
    Galations 5:22-23 Is about the fruit of the spirit.

    Those who are true Christians cannot lose their salvation.

    Ephesians 2:8-9 "For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. "

    Romans 10:13 "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."

    John 10:28 "... neither shall any man pluck them out of my Father's hand."

    With that said, I cannot tell you what to do, but I can suggest the following that a Christian can do.

    1. Turn to God privately. Keep yourself in open prayer with him and tell him all your thoughts. Even if you think these are the things you shouldn't say to God. You need to say it because then you are confessing to God the truth about yourself. Anything you know is sin ask God to teach you how to do different. When you ask God for something, ask in the name of Jesus.

    2. Listen to God actively. All that he wants us to know is in the Bible. Read from it everyday. Read all the books that have the name John in the title. These are: The Gospel of John, 1 John, 2 John, and 3 John. Use a book mark to hold your place each time you stop. I suggest 15 minutes reading each day. Every time you finish these books, start over again. There is more to get from them each time you read them.

    3. Strengthen your faith. Romans 10:17 "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Continue to read your Bible daily and go to church Bible studies to help you understand more about the Bible.

    4. Dispel the isolation that makes depression so much worse. Hebrews 10:25 "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together,..." Find a church home. The meetings at a church are usually, 2 on Sunday Morning (bible study and sermon/worship service), 1 on Sunday night, and a bible study/prayer meeting on Wednesday night. A church often has a womens group.

    Secular things you can choose to do for yourself:

    1. Therapy - individual or group. Even an Al-Anon or Coda group is good.
    2. Medication
    3. Shelter for women.
    4. Keep coming to this website. We understand where others cannot.

    Remember to stay in the realm of what you can do. Your husband has to choose for himself what he wants and you cannot change that. You can set boundaries. Decide what you will do for yourself not what you will do to him. The first is positive and the second is negative.

    If you decide to leave and you don't want to divorce on scriptural grounds you can legally separate. If he gets a girlfriend and most do, then you can scripturally proceed with a divorce.

    All of the above shows that you have many choices. You cannot do them all at once. It's always good to know you have choices, and that helps you to have hope. Hope is what we as suicidal people need the most. Stay in contact with God througout each day and that will not only help you to have hope, but God will guide you.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 18, 2010
  5. lepeep

    lepeep Member

    *the divorce is almost finalized now.
  6. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Do you live by yourself now? Do you have a support network?

    I know my reply post was long, but I hope it has something you can use today and keep a list handy that you can find when you need it.

    I have said a prayer for you and I hope you feel better soon. :hug:
  7. lepeep

    lepeep Member

    I don't even fit in here..

    Last edited by a moderator: May 18, 2011
  8. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry you're going through this but a divorce sounds like the best thing for you....that man does not behave like a 'christian' should and you don't have to live your life in that hell..
    I believe (and am told by a very christian friend) that God forgives you....in your circumstances how could he not!
    keep trying to find some help in the form of groups or church..maybe talk to your doctor ..he could put you on the right path....
    in my country there is disability gruops where they will pick you up and take you on outings...do they have that in your country maybe?
    stay strong ok....you are doing the right thing..
  9. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Most of the time the chat here is light hearted stuff so as to distract people from their pain. I had to face that reality and turn to something else to meet my needs.

    I don't think you're going to find therapy in chat. All of us here are patients, not doctors and we can't give you therapy.

    What we can do is understand when you post and share with you what we've learned. Hopefully you can use something from what we've learned.

    What you can do is post so your pain and stress doesn't build up in yourself. You may want to try a diary here. You have can one public or private. No one can reply to your diary but we learn about each other and at times I get a private message or a post of encouragement on my wall.

    I know this is only part of what we need, but it is an important part.

  10. happymatt

    happymatt New Member


    i've never been married and am not a practising christian but, you are much better off without your husband. lonliness is an awful feeling, i can vouch for that personally but to be in an unhappy relationship when you dont need to be is even worse. i really do hope things work out for you xx
  11. Matt93

    Matt93 Well-Known Member

    What you're going through must be terrible, I can imagine. Yes you're right I might not understand fully about what you're going through, but I know that anything like this is hard, if you want, PM me. I'll link you to my FB if you want someone to talk to :)