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Christmas and an unborn child

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by marklondon, Dec 21, 2011.

  1. marklondon

    marklondon Well-Known Member

    This Sunday I will light a candle for a child who will never be born.

    I don't know what this child looks like, whether it is a girl or a boy. I just know that for the past two years, I made Christmas puddings around stir-up Sunday, and dreamed of one day taking turns stirring the puddings--the three of us--me, her, and our child. The one part of this child I can picture clearly is its arms, stirring the pudding, before we wrap it up for Christmas.

    I can't tell anyone I am mourning this child. I tried to tell someone, and she said I was being melodramatic, looking for ways to make myself miserable. Maybe she is right. I don't care. I'll simply keep it a secret.

    In any case, I intend to light a candle in memory of the dream of its life, which will remain forever unfulfilled. Although I am not a religious man, and do not even believe in any gods, I will pray to God to protect its soul--although a child which has never even been conceived probably has no soul.

    Somewhere, in a parallel universe far away from ours, that Christmas pudding recipe will go on getting better every year, to be passed down one day to a new generation. But in this universe, I am finished with this dream. It is over.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It is so sad to mourn what you do not have, and I think it is rather understandable...wanting something so badly, and not having it, can be so torturous...I wish people were more compassionate! Maybe there is some way to volunteer working with a child IRL so that there is a productive place to serve as the child's memorial...wishing you better times
  3. xsomewhatdamagedx

    xsomewhatdamagedx Well-Known Member

    you have every right to mourn the loss of your child dont ever think that you are being over dramatic about your loss because your not. its obvious to me that you still love this child very much and there is nothing wrong with that at all dont let anyone make you think that you are doing anything wrong
  4. Screaminginsilence

    Screaminginsilence Well-Known Member

    If its any help I think of my baby - I had an abortion when I was 17 and would have a 6 year old daughter now and I think about her all the time

    Sometimes things arent just meant to be x
  5. marklondon

    marklondon Well-Known Member

    I can't imagine what it would be like to go through having an abortion. For me, the thought of this child is also a symbol of an entire future which will never happen, which I had spent so much time dreaming about. You're right though. Some things aren't meant to be.