Christmas cowards?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by bumper, Dec 25, 2006.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. bumper

    bumper Well-Known Member

    I had hoped Christmas would be more depressing than this. I had hoped the loneliness on Christmas would be enough to finally give me the courage to end my life. But so far that hasn’t happened.

    Anybody else chickening out on Christmas Day?

    I guess the day isn’t over yet.
  2. Meander

    Meander Active Member

    If things are going better than you expected, that's called a "good thing". Merry Christmas to you.
  3. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni


    Merry Christmas :) :hug:
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad the day is better than you expected. It takes more courage to stay than to go. Have a Merry Christmas. :hug:
  5. yada

    yada Well-Known Member

    My day's actually turned out to be worse than I felt it would've been. I somehow felt I'd be able to deal with it easier. Everyone else is with their families, but I'm alone. I just finished writing my thoughts down, but it has not given me any peace as I had hoped. But I feel closer to my decision to leave ... after I take care of some things. For now, I'm going to go sit on the beach for a bit and see if I can feel better today.

    - Yada, yada, yada.
  6. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Oh you're no coward bumper like noone else is who hasn't decided to take that dreaded step of ending it all.Like meander said it's a good thing that you have not gone down that road,I understand you feel like you've chickened out etc for not ending it as you're feeling so low but don't feel like that please.
  7. jobdone

    jobdone Member

    To be alive just is the best thing-------活着就是最棒的!
  8. bumper

    bumper Well-Known Member

    Well, the Christmas "spirit" finally caught up with me, and I managed to get out twice today with the intention of killing myself.
    But both times I backed down.
    Lots of crying, but no death.

    Do you know how insulting it is when somone says "Merry Christmas"?
  9. Ixtab™

    Ixtab™ Member

    Yes i sure do...what a horrible day this was. Its good to hear your still alive!!!
  10. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

  11. blackfire

    blackfire Well-Known Member

    I am glad your day is going better than expected. Maybe it is for the better. Have a great holiday season.
  12. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    In one way you could view it as you backed down,but I see it as you succeeded and didn't succumb to the strong desire to go all the way.Yeah i know what it's like when someone say's Merry Christmas but you feel like"What's so Merry about it?"hang tight bumper and try to take it slow.
  13. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    I know what you mean. When I was out today, I saw so many people who looked so happy and I just wanted to yell at them to stop smiling. There's nothing to be happy about today. Of course I didn't do that. I'm not a mean person. But it hurt to see all of them happy while I was so miserable. It just wasn't fair. You're not a coward. I'm glad you had a better day than you expected.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.