My day's actually turned out to be worse than I felt it would've been. I somehow felt I'd be able to deal with it easier. Everyone else is with their families, but I'm alone. I just finished writing my thoughts down, but it has not given me any peace as I had hoped. But I feel closer to my decision to leave ... after I take care of some things. For now, I'm going to go sit on the beach for a bit and see if I can feel better today.
Oh you're no coward bumper like noone else is who hasn't decided to take that dreaded step of ending it all.Like meander said it's a good thing that you have not gone down that road,I understand you feel like you've chickened out etc for not ending it as you're feeling so low but don't feel like that please.
In one way you could view it as you backed down,but I see it as you succeeded and didn't succumb to the strong desire to go all the way.Yeah i know what it's like when someone say's Merry Christmas but you feel like"What's so Merry about it?"hang tight bumper and try to take it slow.
I know what you mean. When I was out today, I saw so many people who looked so happy and I just wanted to yell at them to stop smiling. There's nothing to be happy about today. Of course I didn't do that. I'm not a mean person. But it hurt to see all of them happy while I was so miserable. It just wasn't fair. You're not a coward. I'm glad you had a better day than you expected.