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Christmas Hurt

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Marillion43, Dec 24, 2014.

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  1. Marillion43

    Marillion43 Member

    This year hell once again found me and has me in it's grip. I hate my life and I have done everything to try to change it. Last Christmas I gave my girlfriend of 8 years a promise ring. The following month we moved into a house together. Her 20 some odd year old kids had so many problems and I was so disregarded and disrespected that when I spoke up, I wound up out in the street. 8 years not one fight, one issue ...done. This Christmas I am completely alone, I had so many people in life now they are gone...I have sat all night with a lonely lump in my throat heartbroken and disgusted with life that I don't want to wake because I cannot stand the pain in my chest and throat. Alone on Christmas is something I have never been and if it rolls around next year and I feel I am going to be alone, I will intercept it abruptly, I cannot feel like this anymore. Horrible year, just hate life big time.....
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi there,

    Sure sound like a very rough time for you right now. I'm honestly unsure of what to say only a lot of people have to face christmas alone and I do wish tomorrow to be a good day for you,. just know we are only a click away.

    Again i am really sorry for your circumstances. :hug:

    You do not deserve to be treated this way, you sound like a nice person.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 24, 2014
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I too hope you can find someone new someone that will respect you and not throw you out so easily You deserve respect and kindness
    Don't give up on finding that someone ok that can return your love unconditionally and yes continue to talk here and reach out here for support no one needs to be alone not when there are people here to talk to hugs
  4. Lazarus102

    Lazarus102 Member

    Last Xmas was my first alone and it was very painful for me, to top it off we had a big icestorm in toronto and my power was out for 3-4 full days prior to Xmas and the cat that I'd left with my mother died. I also ended up blowing up at my mother on facebook for all the shit that she'd put me through as a kid and she eventually replied by blowing up right back at me. So I don't think that we'll be talking again anytime soon.. So I have no one in my life besides a small handful of online friends. But after you go through a harsh pain like that it becomes mitigated the next time around, that's just how ya make it through life. I will be alone on this day as well but fukit, I'm not hanging Xmas lights, I'm just going to ignore the fact that it's Xmas and work on self improvement and hope that things will be better for next year and if not, well at least it can't get any worse.
  5. reynard_muldrake

    reynard_muldrake Well-Known Member

    You mentioned having all these people in your life before, so surely you will find new ones again. May they arrive sooner than later. And sorry you are suffering so much. Just know you deserve much better than what life is currently giving you.
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