13 years ago I was diagnosed with Leukemia and subsequently underwent three and half years of intensive chemotherapy, whole brain and spinal radiation. Although I was cured, three years later I developed late effects of the treatment. For the last ten years I've had to deal with burning pain throughout my body, crippling exhaustion, a heart arrhythmia and blood pressure issues as well as numbness and tingling in the hands, feet and face. The likely culprit to these issues was nervous system damage due to radiation. As a result I am unable to work and I deal with a lot of physical and mental pain, which means: (1) I can't support myself; (2) I can't enjoy the things in life that I love and do what I want to accomplish. This in turn has led me into a deep depression which in turn has taken me to heavy substance abuse and legal issues. I feel that the legal, substance abuse and mental issues are all superficial--that if I could just find a solution to the health problem I could make my life infinitely better. As it stands there seems to be no treatment or cure for my neuropathy, and I cannot receive social security because the medical evidence is not concrete enough...it was only fairly recently that doctors even learned of the long-term complications to their treatment. The fatigue is unlike anything one encounters on a normal basis...as a teenager I was a highly competitive athlete, I've endured the fatigue that comes with chemo, radiation, extreme muscle atrophy, etc., I climbed mountains on chemotherapy and none of this fatigue compares to the exhaustion I'm experiencing...both mental and physical. It's as if the very mechanisms one uses to better their lives have been crippled in me...I no longer have the ability to help myself in any profound way. I don't want to die, but I can no longer tolerate this life. I'm tired of people telling me that I just have to be "ok" with my limitations and pain.