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Chronic Pain

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by 41021, Jan 26, 2011.

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  1. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Cannot keep this up.


    don't even know where to begin
    i've got about three days to figure this out. After three days i won't have what i need.

    I cannot handle this pain any longer. Living for the few manageable days is not worth it. It's just a freaking tease for someone who has always been active and engaged with life. UGH!!

    I don't have the energy to continuously fight this. Fought it long enough.

    Don't even know why i am writing. I've already tried to figure this one out. I can't. there is no solution, well, there is one. Everyone would understand. Wouldn't make it easier, but they would understand. Think i could even say goodbyes, without anyone getting disturbed. They realize there are no options, and i know it hurts them, to see me hurt.

    There is just no way out of this hell. Tired of fighting and clawing my way out, only to be kicked in the teeth again, and fall back into that freaking worthless pit where i cannot freaking function.

    i suppose this is a prelude to suicide
  2. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :console: Hang in there :cheekkiss: If i could take your pain away i would. But i cant. All i can do is offer and ear and hugs ******hugs****** i love you so much! :heart: You are strong. I know you can't see it right now but you are. I can see it :) Hang in there and if you need me I'm here. You have my number <3
  3. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    **hugs** i love you kiddo

    i can't do this
    i can't

    i'm so tired. fighting this exhausts me, drains me, takes everything out of me
    i can't keep doing this :no:
  4. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    I love you too :wub:
    You can do this! I know it don't seem like it right now but you can. You have all of us to carry you through it :)
    I know its hard and im sorry :console:
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You can hang on Kali i to live iwth constant pain I hope you can get into a pain clinic to help you decrease it some. I have just learn that it won't go away so i try to ignore the pain now and work on other matters of my life. I do think you should talk to you doctor about getting more help okay hugs
  6. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    there might be some things that would help with the pain. do you want to describe what is going on?
  7. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    **hugs** thank you V and S

    i'm wiped out. I can handle a good deal of pain but this renders me non-functioning. When it's bad i can't even sit, so typing or pc is out of the question, and that is totally isolating...not that it matters much at that point...just go alone into my private hell taunted by everyone i love who has left and have freed themselves from this earth. Only ppl i can talk to when it's that bad, and that can go on for a month...that is no life. writhing in bed talking to dead ppl is just not living.

    i guess ppl have to determine how much they are willing to put up with. Having crossed that point repeatedly with no hope of change, i really need to do something. i need to approach this realistically. I need to be gentle on me. I need to cut myself some slack. I need to be as considerate as i would be for one of the horses who was suffering.
  8. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Hey May, not much is going to help with this :no:

    been there. done that.

    complex med history, multiple life threatening/life changing iatrogenic injuries. oh boy! :sad:

    No fight left and the pain has won. Thank you doctor butcher. (sorry)
  9. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I'm sorry that you're in so much pain Kali. :console: :hug:
  10. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    :hug: Kali...I'm sorry you have so much pain...I understand how debilitating that can be..
    I hope you can find some relief from it (without hurting yourself of course)
  11. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    **HUGS** IV and Dave :hug:

    If i am typing, it's not as bad as it gets. Guess that is something to be thankful for; a momentary reprieve.

    i have to do something before it gets to that intense point, and at the moment, i have that ability. i can't keep doing this :no:
  12. Winslow

    Winslow Antiquitie's Friend SF Supporter

    Have you tried Acupuncture? It has been shown to give good results. Maybe not cure but to at least give some relief. Try it and see.
  13. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    actually i have.

    do not get enough relief to justify but thank you for the suggestion
  14. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    If the pain is related to some ongoing physical condition, I'd generally think some opiates might be the best.

    I also get medium chronic pain - but I'll take some codeine and I've used it for quite a while also. Trick is to not use it all the time. Try to bear the pain in the daytime - get some exercise even if its going to the shops. I use only in the evening but it can be a lifeline and afford me a few hours of pain free time.

    You have to be careful as opiates are addictive. That said, we're talking basic prescription medicine and a substance found in a popular over the counter painkiller.

    A lot of American painkillers are synthetic and heavy hitting. Codeine is mild compared to Vicodin and other stuff out there.

    Walking also is a great help.
  15. loopey

    loopey Member

    I know that we don't know each other, but if you ever need to rant about pain than you're always welcome to give me a message - been there, living it. It wears you down, exhausts you, leaves you despairing.

    Hope things get more bearable for you, I really do.

    x x x
  16. jxdama

    jxdama Staff Member Safety & Support

    what is causing this pain?
  17. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    hey sorry that things are so bad.

    could be that a better acupuncturist could help you

    sounds like you are sick of trying md's

    it could be that after your doctor screwed up, other doc's didn't want to get involved because of legal issues
  18. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    How are you feeling today Kali? :hug:
  19. Nima

    Nima Well-Known Member

    Yes hang in there. Please don't think about committing suicide that is not always the answer. People in general always get kicked in the teeth betrayed by people that they care about.....I want to take your pain away but people who have childhood diseases don't want to commit Suicide they may thnk about it for a minute but they don't and its people with Cancer I don't know if its just a Suicidal pain or sometihng else but I think you should ask God for help with what you're going through
  20. 41021

    41021 Banned Member

    Well to hell
    i am ready to kill myself by way of an idiot surgeon
    any surgeon in their right mind won't touch me with a ten foot pole, thing is, so many of them are so arrogant they think they can do something. Works to my advantage. Good surgeon knows the limitations of medicine...but it takes a bit of arrogance to be a good surgeon, not many will admit the limitations of medicine or surgical intervention. Anyways it's $$$$$ for them...and this time I won't have to say in my mild sheepish voice, "well, I told you so, but you didn't listen." Nor will I have to hear, "Oh, well, I guess you were right. I've never seen anything like that before".

    I am ready to walk into the office of one of those holier than thou, arrogant, asses and say, "okay, no more pain. You won't offer me assisted suicide, so, you fix it so i am not hurting like this, or you let me die from the complications...and there will be complications, there always are. Deal is, you cannot treat any complications and I submit a DNR"

    That should work, yes?

    one wee problem. It took everything I have to sit and type. I couldn't make it out the front door if i wanted too.
    ugh...next best thing is a well fed marlin.

    I hate this life.
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