Chuck Norris Facts

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by Right U R Ken, Aug 31, 2007.

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  1. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    Guns don't kill people, Chuck Norris kills people.

    If you can see Chuck Norris, it means you're about to die. If you can't see Chuck Norris, it means you're about to die.

    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

    There is no evolution. Just animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

    Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

    If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

    "Brokeback Mountain" is not a movie. It's what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

    When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.

    When Chuck Norris says "you want fries with that" it's not a question, it's a command.

    In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.

    27,894 Americans die from Chuck Norris-related accidents every year.

    Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes dead people.

    Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
     
  2. Ignored

    Ignored Staff Alumni

    ?????
     
  3. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

    Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

    Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

    Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

    Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

    There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

    When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

    Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

    Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

    Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

    Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
     
  4. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    :rofl: I LOVE Chuck!
     
  5. hammockmonkey

    hammockmonkey Well-Known Member

    Behind Chuck Norris' beard is another fist

    Chuck Norris can cure cancer with his tears. Too bad he never cries.
     
  6. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    ooooooooooooooooooooooooooook :blink: :laugh:
     
  7. Right U R Ken

    Right U R Ken Well-Known Member

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