Sunday morning I woke up after a night of drinking. I wasn't hungover. I listened to music and drank three beers then went outside to smoke. While I was smoking I got this urge to burn myself with the cig. I first burnt my thumbe and that cost a bump to form. Then finally I just put the cigarette out on my hand. That left a bigger mark. I haven't told anyone yet. I will have to tell my therpist. I don't know what made me do it and I am thinking about doing it again. It hurt but felt good at the same time.Actually I really didn't feel much at all and I didn't think anything about it really. If I do it again I will probably do it on my arm somewhere so no one can really see it. I don't want to do it. I just feel insane lately. I use to try hard to avoid pain but now I just care anymore. I can't really feel. I probably wont burn myself anymore but I could do other things.