Today another attempt to inspire myself died, just before I go back for my hardest year at school, the second half of my A levels. Just perfect. My mind keeps going in these bloody circles where I feel motivated by something, don't exploit it straight a way in the hope I can develop it, then lose it somehow, then spiral for a month or so before some new source of motivation comes along. For me suicide's oh so tempting right now but at the same time is out of the question because I could never do that to my family. I should probably go back to the doctor and get a formal diagnosis of depression but I feel like going to my GP about it would make me a hyper-chondriac so I never go. Every night I wish that I will just never wake up from my sleep then every morning I wake up angry that I have to go through with another day. This was just a rant really so I don't expect any one to reply but thanks if you do.
Circles is a good way to describe depression hun why fight it on your own get on some meds hun okay get the levels in your brain stable so you do not have to keep going in circles okay so you can start going in a straight line forward Call you pdoc okay stop the cirlcles hugs
