Today another attempt to inspire myself died, just before I go back for my hardest year at school, the second half of my A levels. Just perfect. My mind keeps going in these bloody circles where I feel motivated by something, don't exploit it straight a way in the hope I can develop it, then lose it somehow, then spiral for a month or so before some new source of motivation comes along. For me suicide's oh so tempting right now but at the same time is out of the question because I could never do that to my family. I should probably go back to the doctor and get a formal diagnosis of depression but I feel like going to my GP about it would make me a hyper-chondriac so I never go. Every night I wish that I will just never wake up from my sleep then every morning I wake up angry that I have to go through with another day. This was just a rant really so I don't expect any one to reply but thanks if you do.