Circumcision- Male Genital Mutilation

Discussion in 'Soap Box' started by Nyu, Feb 29, 2012.

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  1. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this, but yeah

    Anyways a few days ago in my Psychology class we were talking about the pros and cons of circumcision for males. The discussion prompted me to do my own research since I pretty much didn't know anything about the procedure, let alone that it was the "norm". I had always thought that only Jews were circumcised. Boy was I wrong. To prove just how ignorant I was on the subject, along with many others, I didn't even know what an uncut penis looked like. I had always thought the penises I've seen in porn and in real life were an intact penis. Wrong again. I asked my husband if he was circumcised, and he told me no. Upon more research I discovered that yes, indeed he is, and he didn't even know! More research and I find out that this is the most sensitive part of the male penis, and is analogous to the female clitoris, and is vital to sex for not only the male, but the female. Without this foreskin there is a certain roughness that leaves me chaffed after sex, something I've always thought was how you're supposed to feel.

    I feel like I and everyone else has been lied to, has been punished so that over half of couples can't have the pleasurable sex they should be allowed to. I am baffled at this hideous crime that has been performed on almost 80% of men in America, and still over half even today. If we were all cutting off the clitoris and labia of our infant daughters there would be a huge uproar. But it seems little is being done and parents continue to be ignorant and cut off their son's precious genitals. As I continue to do more research I just find more and more upsetting information. I think the best evidence comes from men who decided to be circumcised later on in life, so can compare the two. All of these men wish they wouldn't have done the procedure to fit into our backwards "american ways" and compare the sex of the two to a nice milkshake vs skim milk.

    Why didn't I know about this sooner, why not everyone else? Why are we all being sexually punished?? :(

    I have been a complete mess these past few days. I can no longer look at my husband's dick and feel aroused knowing that it has been mutilated so as to not feel nearly as much pleasure as it should. Knowing that as he ages his penis will continue to lose sensitivity and there's a high chance that he'll get erectile dysfunction. He already has premature ejaculation, which I thought was just psychological for him but now realize it is due to his circumcision and that it will most likely never go away. I feel like my own genitals have been cut off, and that there is nothing I can do.

    I've tried talking to my husband about this, but he just gets angry and refuses to. I think part of this is due to his conscious protecting him from the horrible crime which has taken so much away from his sexual being. The sad part is that he will never know the difference. Just like so many other men and women.

    I feel helpless knowing that there isn't anything I can do to protect these children
    I should also note that medical benefits of this procedure have already been disproven, and that when properly washed (which any parent can teach their children) the foreskin actually protects the penis. You are born with it for a reason! Please don't do this to your children! :(

    I feel so upset and hurt, angry that my husband had to have this horrible procedure done to him because of ignorance. Angry that he doesn't want to acknowledge it. Angry that I will never know what sex with an intact penis feels like. I can only read what it feels like, and ladies it feels a lot better!
    I am both depressed and completely shaken up, knowing that I live in a world that allows this.

    Please, don't take my word and look this up if you don't already know. There are nonsurgical restoration methods, and from what I've heard these are hugely beneficial and will restore a lot of sensitivity to your penis. The penis is meant to be intact, just like the female genitals are.

    I'm sorry this is a bit of a rant, I'm just really upset and there is so much that I want to get out there so that this procedure won't have to be performed on non consenting individuals with perfectly healthy penises.
  2. marklondon

    marklondon Well-Known Member

    Yes, you're absolutely right, and the US is the only country that does this for non-religious reasons--in other countries, it is the norm to be uncircumcised, but in the US, doctors pressure parents into doing it, telling them it's 'cleaner' or something, even though the AMA have specifically said there is no medical reason whatsoever to do it. It is an utterly barbaric and pointless social practice, and why the US does it when no other country does baffles me.

    That being said, your husband is a victim of this, even if he doesn't know it, and if you go on about it too much, I dare say you run the risk of making him feel a bit inadequate. Unfortunately, what's done is done, and although there is a small movement to change this in the US, it's not going to happen any time soon. At least now you know about it, so if you ever have a son, you won't do the same thing to him (but don't be surprised when they pressure the hell out of you at the hospital, or even try to do it without your permission).
  3. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    I already knew before finding this out that I would never do this to my children. My mother in fact never had this performed on my two brothers, which is why I had always thought most American guys weren't cut either.

    I'm afraid to make my husband feel inadequate, but I'm also afraid that he really is completely apathetic about it all the way he is with so many other things. I feel like this has the potential to tear our marriage apart, especially since I've found out that there are ways to naturally restore it. I don't think I'll be able to stay in this marriage if it isn't something he'll consider. That may sound terrible, but it's just something that has significant importance in my mind. I'm only 19, my husband is only 21, we shouldn't have to deal with sexual problems. And if it isn't something he Wants to help fix, then I'm out.

    This has definitely made me want even more to move out of America. There's no way I'd want to bring up children here.
  4. marklondon

    marklondon Well-Known Member

    There are ways to stretch the skin to make it a bit like a foreskin, but I'm not so sure you can really 'restore' it, particularly the lubricating functions it performs... stretching the skin might just mainly be for cosmetic reasons.

    I also would hasten to add it's probably jumping to conclusions a bit to blame premature ejaculation on being circumcised. That might be a factor, but there are a lot of circumcised men who don't have that problem, and particularly considering he's only 21, it might just be that he's a bit inexperienced, or hasn't quite worked out how to control certain things yet. I agree that it makes sense to work on sexual problems rather than ignoring them, but I think there are probably more effective things he can do than trying to stretch his skin.

    I also wouldn't want to bring up kids there, for all kinds of reasons--but yeah, this particular problem is I think just one small indication of something having gone deeply wrong.
  5. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    Yeah, maybe I shouldn't be jumping to conclusions on what he should do, I'm just completely... I don't even know the right word to call it...I just feel like I need to do something right now. I just don't know what. This has me so shaken up. I don't think I've ever been this upset before.

    I just don't get why more men aren't doing something about it here...
  6. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    It just hurts so much to know my husband will never be able to fully experience sex with me. Or appreciate it.

  7. marklondon

    marklondon Well-Known Member

    But the truth is, he doesn't know what he's missing, and he'll still be able to enjoy it. In any case, almost all of what's enjoyable about sex is what goes on between your ears, not between your legs, cliché as it is, and that's as true for men as it is for women (contrary to stereotypes). The mechanics of it are generally not the most important part, and I am quite sure there are some people with foreskins who enjoy sex a lot less than some people without them, for exactly that reason.

    Why men aren't doing something about it there--maybe for the same reason your husband is apathetic about it. It's something already done to them, that they can't change, and perhaps they feel if they focus on it too much, they will just feel anguish over something over which they have no power. Also, given that in US culture circumcision is weirdly seen as normal, they are probably worried about appearing to be making a fuss over something 'everyone else' sees as normal--and acting like that doesn't sit well with ideals of masculinity. It is maybe easier in a situation like that just to try not to think about it and pretend nothing has happened.
  8. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    I've always felt passionately about this subject,being from the UK i wasn't circumcised myself but i really feel for guys that have been violated in this way.I completely understand that it is sometimes required for medical reasons but never can it be right for so called Hygene or Religious reasons.It is barbaric and a clear breach of a persons human rights to mutilate them at birth without them being able to give consent,it's child abuse.I suspect that American doctors aren't too keen to kiss goodbye to the millions of dollars they've earnt,i mean i'm guessing it isn't performed free of charge?My online friend from New Jersey left her son as he was born because she doesn't agree with it but said her decision was met with hostility from her mother!I saw that there is an action group in the States called Mothers Against Circumcision so attitudes might start changing now.If doctor's in America are still reccomending circumcision over there they are selling you lies,the British Medical Association and European Medical Authorities published papers where they stated that there is no good reason to circumcise men.I watched a documentary on the BBC a few years back that featured a Jewish guy who blames it on ruining his sex life and the guy was crying his eyes out because he'd been mutilated.He was fighting to stop his own son from being done but the jewish community closed ranks and went ahead anyway,the poor guy was traumatised.People talk about human rights all the time but why does a man not have the right to decide if he wants his penis mutilated or not?
  9. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    That's exactly how I feel! My husband is my best friend, finding out that this was done to him almost feels like they cut off a part of my body. And that story sounds terrible, I've heard of similar stories where the husband and wife disagree about doing a circumcision, but the person who wants it ends up winning. Luckily I know my husband won't want his sons to be mutilated. I just wish I could do more. Every thirty seconds a baby boy is being genitally mutilated. That's what kills me.
    They tried to pass a bill in California to ban circumcision on minors, but that didn't go through and later a law was made which protects the right of parents to mutilate/circumcise their non consenting sons.

    I realize now that NO ONE in my Psychology class listed that cutting off the foreskin of the penis removes a very important erogenous zone and can cause sexual problems later on. Nor that their son may be psychologically damaged when he realizes what's missing and might feel like only half a man. To me this is the biggest con of them all.
    It really shows you how misinformed our society is.
    I think I'm going to bring this back up next class time, see how that goes...=/
  10. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    There are a few misconceptions and exaggerated assumptions happening in here that I'd like to address, speaking as a male who is circumcised:

    Sensitivity issues:
    -Rest assured, circumcised males are still very sensitive to stimulation. Please do not feel as though your husband experiences decreased pleasure from sex because of this. It is simply not true. At all.
    -circumcision is NOT equivalent to removal of the clitoris.
    -Premature ejaculation is a separate issue. Usually a psychological one. There is no basis to assume your husband's problem with this is related to circumcision.

    Masculine identity issues:
    -I can't speak for all males on this, but for myself, at no point in my life did I ever feel that being circumcised made me a lesser person or a lesser male. Maybe some men disagree on this. I imagine there would be more vocal outcry about this if men cared that much. It's not that big a deal. If I were to have a son, I wouldn't have him circumcised, but that's more because I know that it isn't a necessary procedure. Not that I feel it is a violation of person.
  11. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    Yes, but have you ever been uncircumcised? If you've never had the taste of sugar, than how can you miss it? I think that's the problem here, guys don't know what it's like to have a foreskin so don't think they're missing out on anything. But for those who were circumcised as an adult they will definitely tell you there is something not right going on here. I'm glad that you won't be doing this to your children, but disagree that it's not a violation.
    Also, this was brought into mainstream America to prevent masturbation. That in itself shows just how much the procedure desensitizes the penis.
  12. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    Care to cite a source on that?

    I don't mean to be argumentative with you on this issue, and I can only speak for myself and my experiences. If asked, do I feel victimized by the fact that this was done to me? The answer is most certainly no. The reason your husband responds with annoyance and anger when you broach the subject likely has much to do with the fact that for him it is a non issue (probably) and he may feel bothered by the fact that you find it so shocking. :/
  13. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

  14. Nyu

    Nyu Well-Known Member

    Philo Judaeus, 1st Century

    To these [reasons for circumcision] I would add that I consider circumcision to be a symbol of two things necessary to our well being. One is the excision of pleasures which bewitch the mind. For since among the love-lures of pleasure the palm is held by the mating of man and woman, the legislators thought good to dock the organ which ministers to such intercourse, thus making circumcision the figure of the excision of excessive and superfluous pleasure, not only of one pleasure, but of all the other pleasures signified by one, and that the most imperious.

    The other reason is that a man should know himself and banish from the soul the grievous malady of conceit.

    Philo of Alexandria, Of the special laws, Book I (ii), in Works of Philo, trans. F. H. Colson, Loeb Classical Library, 1937, Vol. VII, p. 105

    Philo of Alexandria (or Judaeus) was a leading Jewish philosopher living in Alexandria early in the 1st Century."

    edit- link
  15. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    I've heard this and it is a genuine reason why it was done as silly as it sounds.Yet another stupid illogical reason to mutilate a boys penis.
  16. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    There speaks the truth, I'm circumcised nd have had no issues whatsoever and I think males who are circumcised get horny far more often and easier than males who are not due to the sensitive dome being constantly rubbed in one way or another, as for looks I'd sooner have the look of soldier standing to attention than a one eyed snake being charmed from it's lair!
  17. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    I'd rather be as god intended,unmutilated:biggrin:
  18. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    Dunno what all the fuss is about it's only a little bit of skin.:sentimental:

    And let's not forget that this minor form of GM does not even come close to what they do to girls/women in some parts of Africa.
  19. In a Lonely Place

    In a Lonely Place Well-Known Member

    Indeed a little bit of skin which belongs on the penis and it's not for self appointed morons to decide on mutilating a baby's cock because they think it should be. Human Right's anybody?

    It's all barbaric but you dont expect it to still be going on in civilised countries,witchcraft is still practiced in Africa so your not gonna tell them about female circumcision being wrong and have it believed anytime soon.
  20. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    The only people I see get in an uproar and even call it "mutilation" are the people that haven't had it done.

    It's not a big fucking deal.

    Those that think it is, are fools in my opinion.

    EDIT: As for the record, your post makes you sound shockingly shallow.

    If you'd divorce him over something so trivial, he probably deserves better anyway.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 1, 2012
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