Clarification please

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sjr2912, Feb 17, 2013.

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  1. sjr2912

    sjr2912 New Member

    Hi. I posted on here a while back about how I felt I was living two lives - I think the thread is still on here somewhere- anyway, since then, things have gone rapidly downhill, especially over the last few weeks to the point where I only have one genuine option left - my suicide. I already know what I'm going to do, how I'm going to do it, where and when. That's not up for discussion and isn't why I'm here so please don't waste any time or effort trying to convince me to change my mind as it isnt going to work.

    I just need clarification on something - when I'm gone, will my debts be passed on to my surviving family members? That might seem like a really stupid question to some but its the one thing I want to sort before I go. I know the effect of what I'm going to do will have on the ones I leave behind - I just don't want to add to their problems by having them have to deal with the mess that led me to this.

    If anyone could give me a clear answer on that I'd be most grateful.

    Thank you.
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Your debts will be the least of their concern, believe me, unless they live their lives motivated only by financial gains or losses. I'm sure that they will be too grief stricken to care about anything as material as a debt. JMHO
  3. sjr2912

    sjr2912 New Member

    Appreciate your honesty. The reason for me asking is I know that what I will do will cause my family a lot of pain ... without having to deal with the mess that led me to this.
  4. dead-alive

    dead-alive Member

    Please don't do it! Your Family wouldn't be concerned about your debt but the debt that they wouldn't ever be able to pay off which is losing you! Talk to someone, you won't lose anything, just try to do i! Yes I don't know you but I do care about you because I know how it feels like to be suicidal, And I have had many suicide attempts before and it all ended up with regret believe me! I am here with no family, with no friends, raped 1 week ago ect ect...!Please don't do it! e0mail me if you would like to <Mod edit - Acy - personal info> if you live in the uk we can be friends!
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 17, 2013
  5. listless

    listless Banned Member

    If the debts are under your name, I'm quite certain it won't go to your family. Only if you co-signed it might happen. You might consider getting a life insurance policy, they pay out on suicides after 2 years...obviously don't let them know that's your plan but look into it. This way at least you could leave something behind for your family and pay off the debts perhaps.
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    If a loan on a home or car stops being paid, the bank WILL come and take the home or vehicle away. Credit cards and other loans, if joint, will still be the responsibility of the person who is also on the account. As for life insurance, make sure you check on that very carefully. In the U.S., very few life insurance companies will pay out on suicide, regardless of time (read carefully for this clause). In reference, this one is interesting and very telling:

    By the way, forgetting about debts for a moment, when I lost my son to suicide... the response costs (ambulance, police, etc.) came to over $100,000 that was billed to me. That is a lot of money.
  7. sjr2912

    sjr2912 New Member

    Dead-Alive, i appreciate what you say but I'm not on here looking for friends or for anyone to change my mind ... I went past that stage a long time. I know what has to be done ... and now, thanks to the other people who replied and gave me the answers I was looking for, all that remains is to finish thing off. I know what I am going to do will, without question, hurt those who care for me (or claim to) but with time, they will come to terms with it and move on ... whereas all time has shown me is that my joke of a life is past the point of salvage and that its time to go.

    Thanks for taking the time to read this.
  8. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    As one of those people who lost someone like this, I can tell you that you are incorrect. In time, we do not come to terms with it or move on. I would rather suffer the worst tortures and the worst bad feelings, illness, or depressions... rather than have to live forever with the feelings of loss that I have. I'm not telling you not to, I'm simply making sure you have all the facts straight. You didn't know about the financial end, so you likely don't know about the survivor end either.
  9. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    Pickwaustin explained to me that he got saddled with the debt of the rescue team for his family member. I'm surprised he didn't mention it. That has ended a lot of my desire to suicide b/c I would like to leave some funds for my daughter and if they get absorbed by the rescue team then my sacrifice would have been in vain. Now I have to survive. Funny I didn't expect the reason for not suiciding to be financial. Now I have to survive and deal with my problems instead of bailing out.
  10. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    Sounds like you're selfish, stubborn, and haven't really paid enough attention to what suicide does to those closest to you. I might be way off the mark, but at least take a read over why I've concluded that.

    When someone commits a callous, cold-blooded murder of, let's say, joe bloggs (name is irrelevant but for purpose of description), the people affected are the family and friends of joe bloggs.

    Suicide is basically a murder of oneself. The outcome is still the same. Friends/family will not understand, will not be likely to be able to deal with the consequences of your choice of actions.

    And if you really don't want them to be left with that mess of debt, work a plan to sort that out first. That's the only way you'll be guaranteed to know it won't be left behind.

    Strong and possibly harsh words I know. But I've also seen two lads (3 years apart but same schooling year group/grade as me), die this way. And yes I'm slightly biased, but I went strimming grass around gravestones 8 weeks after one of these lads died. Day 1, strimmer got caught in a named wreath which turned out to be that lads. And even though I wasn't the closest of close friends, I pay respects every year. The 2nd lads birthday was valentines day. I haven't seen the date the same way since I found out. (it's too commercial anyway but the date plays a much more significant role in the memory of him for others).

    You're ok with leaving them with the memory of taking your own life? They'll question themselves and why they didn't see it. Why they didn't help. Why you didn't let them in. Your 'reasons' are most likely just excuses to give up trying. You claim to know what 'has to be done'. There are very few decisions that have no choice. You're just too blinkered to look for a reason to carry on.

    And I know that I may be wasting my time, but what would you really expect from a site with rules that state it's a pro-life forum? Regardless of how you dress it up, it isn't the 'only genuine option'. It's one of the easier choices to feel compelled to make, to be free from stress, pain, depression or whatever the circumstances are, but it does show a stubborn pride that refuses to be swallowed. If it really was the only way out, why do some people who survive attempts change their attitudes to life? Why do some rediscover that life can be enjoyed?
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