I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post here. If I was able to make an attempt I'd be dead. My cousin asked me if I wanted to hurt myself. I said no. She rephrased her question and asked if I was going to be alive after my plans for the evening. I said no. My cousin made a call to a pastor and to my best friend. The pastor called most of the people in the church as well as the police. The police came and took me to the hospital. Now I will be getting a hospital bill I can't afford. I also have to live with the stigma of being seen with the police walking me out of the building. That type of thing causes issues in my area. I also have to deal with being an involuntary recluse. I only know a few people in the city where I currently live. They all happen to know my business now, though I didn't tell them. Now I'm trying to effectively brainwash myself since I'm not even able to die in peace.