But emotions aren't rational, are they? I've been with my friends all this weekend, and it's weird, because it's sort of fun at the time, but I still kind of think it'd be nice to die. All the time, I have these thoughts like I'm so pathetic. I have a hard time connecting with my peers, and even with the friends that I do have, I find myself rarely actually laughing at their jokes or hanging out with them, anyways. College is apparently so much better, and kids are just maturing, yeah, but I've seen adults that are no better than us. I think I'm just failing to see the point in all of this. People piss me off so often, and I've got this damn low self-esteem. I'm not sure that this struggling to relate to others is even worth it. I just want to lay down and stop having to try.