Cliches and sayings I just hate...

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by kittyD, May 5, 2008.

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  1. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    Hi all,
    Kraven, this thought started for me with your post about the things people say to you that just seem ludicris(sp).
    The one I hate the most is:
    Oh, no, person XYZ has it soooo much worse than you, what are you complaining about.
    I try to know that possibly the person I'm talking has no other tools to use but to trot out, but it makes me see red. i don't give a flying f*ck about how bad someone elses life is when I reach the point of talking, no matter how well intentioned it may be.
    What about others, what are the ones that bother you the most? If anything I'll all get some insight on what not to say.
    kD
     
  2. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Well its hard to hear but its true..Theres someone in the world who has it worse then you do. That being told to you is intended to make you stop and think how things could get worse and to find some peace and be grateful for what you do have..Yes it stinks having people tell you that but its well intentioned - at least in my experience..

    I hate having people tell me 'It will be alright'. Im sure that the bad times cant last forever but then again neither can the good times so Im not sure that it will ever be alright..

    I hate being told 'Just give the medication time' I have gave all of them time and they all sucked...

    Worst of all I hate having a lecture about what I should be doing to improve my life...Those are the worst..
     
  3. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    I hate the expression rolled out to single and lonely people of "You'll meet someone eventually"... on what basis? Especially when the person who says it knows nothing about you whatsoever.
     
  4. sophie5121

    sophie5121 Well-Known Member

    i agree, i hate people saying about people being worse of than me, yeah its a shame and that, but im not them and theres nothing i can do to help them.
    Its so annoying.
    Also i hate people saying suicide is selfish, and think of what it would do to your family.
     
  5. blue shoes

    blue shoes Well-Known Member

    I think people should be grateful when someone cares enough to reply to their threads trying to be helpful.
    This is the reason why I don't even feel like replying to threads on here anymore, one of the reasons I left in 2006, when discussions like these were going on, people complaining about getting hugs as replies and such.
    People say what they can, do what they can to be helpful. But according to kittyD, intention doesn't matter.
    I don't understand what some people expect from this site, to get precise answers for their problems??
     
  6. sophie5121

    sophie5121 Well-Known Member

    I don't mean on this site, i mean in person, like people who really know me. I think what people say on this site can really help and cheers me up. I know that when people say things like this they are just trying to be helpful, i've said them myself in the past. I don't expect answers from anybody on this site, but the things people do say do help greatly, and i appriciate that.
     
  7. -.-.-.-

    -.-.-.- Guest

    The point people always miss out of that is that yes, suicide is selfish if that person wants to leave their pain and their frineds and family. However, if people want a person to stay in pain just so they don't lose them, in my eyes, that is selfish too. Suicide brings out the selfish is everyone, not just the person who wants to kill themselves.

    I don't mind cliches because I can look from the outside and see that they are actually true, I just don't necessarily believe them.
     
  8. ScouseJM

    ScouseJM Well-Known Member

    that is true about everyone bein selfish when it comes to suicide.


    i also hate it when someone tells me other people are off worse, im not sayin i dont appreciate an attempt to help as was suggested earlier, it just doesnt help its as simple as that. its like when you are struggling to pay your bills and your rent for your apartment and it causes you real pain, would you go ah my problems dont matter at least i have a roof over my head. surely theres moments you remember that, but it doesnt solve your problems for you and make you feel great about your situation does it.
     
  9. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    Blue Shoes,
    In no way did I mean to start up any kind of resentments or problems on the site. In my case, I do realize that 99%of people here and in our 'real' worlds mean well and don't really know what else to say. I certainly didn't realize that there had been controversy about others reactions to hugs, etc. Personally I appreciate each and every one but don't wish to lengthen threads by saying thanks to every one, my mistake, my apology.
    I have been on various sites for other reasons that have descended into flaming and I've left because of it. I don't know what else to say. My thoughts were to find out for myself what bothers others so that I don't offend anyone here or in my life, primarily my daughter at the moment. Also from the time I've spent in Al-Anon and ATWatchdog (methadone) both online and in person instilled the concept of helping yourself by helping others.
    Once again, my apology, my opinions only, no intention to ruffle anyones feathers.
    kD
     
  10. bluewail

    bluewail Well-Known Member

    oh no this is a good thread.... obviously its always nice when people try to say helpful things to you, but sometimes you get the feeling its a bit hollow, or they're grasping at straws to help you. i don't judge when people have to do that, i know how hard it is to say the right thing. and tbh, anything is always better than no reply at all.

    BUT....

    there are some things i cringe when i hear.
    one thing people always say when i see them is 'what have you been up to?' and i want to scream in response 'oh you know, the usual, crying in my room under the duvet and wishing i had some friends and some self confidence so i could go out and get up to stuff. you?'
     

  11. Lol. I agree. Do they not think its selfish to keep the person thinking of suicide alive, just so they can be "comfortable" with how things are?

    There is selfishness on every end of suicide.

    I hate when someone says that "it well get better, eventually."
    Its entirely possible, that it WON'T. Some people's circumstances are just to grim for "recovery"...it's a complex thing, suicide.....
     
  12. RosiePosie

    RosiePosie Member


    LMFAO
    I can relate to this one like no other.
    "The usual. Trying not to break down this very instant and start crying mid-sentence. I've also been sleeping past 2pm and spend all day deciding whether or not there's a point to leaving my house other then to drive my car off a bridge. And you? n_n"
     
  13. Yeah, even that ol' "How are you?" can be a LOADED question - even knowing that some do indeed care, it can make you feel like a freakin' insect under a microscope...:huh:

    I've "ranted" before on this subject - so I'll try to be more 'kind'. I've always been, um, adverse :wink: to hearing "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". OK - granted it can happen - but it can ALSO very well sincerely f*ck you up for the rest of your life!

    Another would be "God never gives you more than you can handle" - never mind there is NO guarantee whatsoever of this notion (which is all it really is - unless I missed reading the fine print when I was born - or it wasn't in my particular contract) - but it does NOT make you more reflective, cheerful, comforted, hopeful, let alone grateful - not for any supposed 'god', nor for the person who says it. And I'm p-r-e-t-t-y -damned sure that if horrible circumstances continued to rock their world, neither would they cling to that notion, let alone even consider it...

    As for "The light at the end of the tunnel"...in my experience it has more often than not been the headlamp of an oncoming train... :blink:
     
  14. bleach

    bleach Well-Known Member

    "Stop being so emo."
     

  15. I totally agree with you, Sophie.
     
  16. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Things will only get better if you work on making it better, theres no magic bullet to life.

    If your at the point where youve completely given up, things will only get worse.

    If theres one thing ive learnt, action is everything, words are nothing, of course that little piece of sage like wisdom doesnt seem to prompt my ass into gear.
     
  17. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    ''How are you?", I agree that is a loaded question. I submitted this onto deviantartsecret a month or so ago, Click.
     
  18. Just reminded me of a short thingy written by thesemomentsastheypass a while ago...


    "Fine."

    Fearful
    Insecure
    Neurotic
    Emotional

    “I’m just fine”, I said.

    And meant it.
     
  19. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    I don't mind that their is someone worse off than me (or even folk telling me!), but what really gets my goat is that someone somewhere is 1 million percent worse off than me........and copes with it well, if not downright fooking cheerfully :mad::biggrin::biggrin:


    I suspect we are all have our own coping strategies - mine also involves interpreteting things as I want them to be, sometimes they are true, sometimes not - but I don't dwell on the "true" bit......

    If someone asks "how are you doing" etc I try and interpret this as a well meaning intention even if the words or actions are not what I want at that time - I figure fair play as I quite often don't know what I want and often their isn't anything that the other person could actually say or do.......but I figure they care enuf to ask, so take the intention. As I said not always true, but often works for me. Obviously - that's why I am here :blink::biggrin:
     
  20. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    Comments and phrases that just send me into a red eyed fury


    "I don't understand.."- i hear this a million times a day from my grandfather who god bless him has had a stroke and probably doesnt understand what the hell i mean but christ almighty i can explain something a thousand times, CLEARLY and he will look right at me and say "I don't understand.." i am not the most patient person on the face of the earth but these words are a SERIOUSLY like a red flag being waved in front of a bull...

    "Cleanliness is next to godliness" DONT EVER TELL ME THIS ANYONE.. LOL this phrase is the the absolute most dangerous phrase to ever tell me.. i literally want to choke someone when i hear them say it.. my family are OCD with cleaning and housekeeping and they have made me HATE even cleaning up the kitchen..

    "God gave you your life, only he can take it away" First of all im pagan and God does not just exist in singularity but in duality God and Goddess.. Second of all God/Goddess gave me free will and if i so choose my life is mine to live or end.. that is what free will is... the freedom to choose..

    "God never gives you more than you can handle" Uhmm okay... sure... that's why when i am at a breaking point every bad thing that can possibly happen does.. its as if this "loving and all wise God" just smirks and throws even more my way.. Okay SJ is drowning lets throw a lead weight into the madness..

    ANY religious, preaching at me PERIOD.. i do not shove my beliefs down anyone's throat and nothing pushes me further away from others then to have them try to force feed me their beliefs.. i dont mind discussing beliefs, i am very open minded and have friends of ALL faiths, but when others start trying to force their religion or beliefs on me i start seeing red...

    "You need to find Jesus Christ and be saved" I believe in Jesus okay? but i do not believe that i need to be "saved" that is what irritates me immensely... religious do goodies who think the only way to heaven is if they are "saved" Jesus died for all of our sins, those who believe in him are ALREADY saved are they not? did his blood not wash away our sins? was that not the whole purpose of him DYING for us? so why do we need to be saved AGAIN? i hope i am not offending anyone here that is NOT my intention but this truly does set me off in a rage when others imply i need "saved"... i have never baptised my daughter even, because i want that to be her gift to herself, her free will to choose which religion is right for her, not merely accept blindly because someone tells her she HAS to believe a certain way.. i was baptised catholic and in ways i resent my family for baptising me :blink: i was NOT old enough to understand, therefore it was not my free will... i think that should be left to the individual themselves... when they are old enough to make that choice.. :pope: oh i have wandered off topic badly my apologies, and again i hope i have not offended anyone... i am open minded and have friends and loved ones of all faiths and do not judge another for their own.. i just HATE having another's beliefs forced on me...

    *sneaks out before i get chased off with pitchforks*
     
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