Clingy friend pushed other friend away

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by xoCherie, May 1, 2012.

  1. xoCherie

    xoCherie Well-Known Member

    So, I've made friends with this girl at my course S, who from the get go I've realized started bad mouthing my other friend K and pointing out every little thing she was apparently doing wrong or being a bitch about, saying that she was snobbing her when we were all on the train and making petty remarks - basically it came across as K belittling S.
    K had two weeks off from course because she was sick, and I'm not entirely sure if it's true or not, but she had to have today off as well even though she came in yesterday for it and was fine, she'd just fallen behind is all. But K made some strange remarks about how she could probably fake sickness and the tutor would keep giving her extensions, so when she said she had to go home today, as soon as she was out of the classroom S was like "that dumb bitch is faking it to get out of course cause she's sick of seeing us together." Comments like that continued off and on today
    The main problem I've started noticing with S is that she's really loud, I mean REALLY loud, laughing at random shit and distracting me to the point I have to say stop it I'm trying to work, at which point the tutor tells ME off for disrupting the class. So today I did this two hour test. Out of the blue I said I was going to be silent for two hours, and she had to try and make me talk before it was up. Within half an hour she was threatening to walk out of the class, stop being my friend, and even cutting herself if I didn't talk. She got me to make an exception for lunch at which point she didn't even hang out with me much - just ended up following me around or sitting on a table in the lunch room. But before that, when I was taking notes of what the assignment was on, she kept shoving her book onto my desk and distracting me with these dumb notes about the guy she likes, and threw a huff when I said "stop it I'm working!" After that she changed seats, made a point of pointing out that she'd changed seats when I didn't immidiantky notice, then pulled an emo until I hugged her, at which she was back to her usual self.
    I've had another class mate outright tell me to sit away from her and I said I want to, but I don't want to hurt her feelings, because I'm the only person she talks to in the class now. So he suggested telling the tutor the situation and asking him if at the next lesson, he cold ask me to move seats, because then it wouldn't look like I was being a bitch, but I know it won't help much since she'll Facebook me and instantly join the group I'm in when we have to work on our assignment and she will yell at me across the room, she already has a few times.
    What can I do in this situation? Because I want to be able to focus in this course and actually get this done without having any distractions or people pulling me into their "I give up" mind frames as soon as lunch is over :/
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You take your concerns to the instructor involved and ask that they talk to such person to leave you alone.
  3. truthhurts

    truthhurts Well-Known Member

    as much as i can tell from this, i'd say she has a reason for being this clingy. either dissatisfaction with some other relationships, or maybe sth else. talking to the teacher about the problem might not do much in this case, tho i can't say for sure rly. my advice wud be trying to talk it out with her (meaning prolly like in private, so she could openly discuss it with u if needed). also, i'd say your description sort of hints she might like u or just feel jealous (though tht's just a thought tht came to mind, no real reason to take it tht seriously), which might make the case pretty difficult. I'm not rly saying tht her bothering u is justified, i just mean there must be some kind of a reason for this. well, i hope it gets sorted out between ya.

    best wishes from EijiSama~
  4. xoCherie

    xoCherie Well-Known Member

    I'm going that way today so I'll pop in and talk to him about it
  5. xoCherie

    xoCherie Well-Known Member

    Unlikely since she's constantly going on about the guy she likes, and I mean Constantly. She just won't shut up about him and I'm so close to hitting her with my books whenever I see her open her mouth. There's liking a guy and talking about it, then there's liking a guy and being obsessive about it to the point your friends want to ditch you.
    She's another tumblr user, and I've checked out her blog. It bounces back from vintage photos and clothing, to depressive quotes and pictures, to love struck quotes and posts about said guy, and some of them are really worrying and I messaged her about them and she just brushed it off.
    Its really confusing how she acts. She's got an amazing personality when she wants it, but half the time she's just in a huff or being loud and obnoxious. I know she has an extreme insecurity issue with her body, and she's told me how her mum's making her pay rent (she's 17, over here you don't do that til you're 18 if you're living at home) and how she is tied down with work...she drags her problems everywhere with her to the point that 30mins after course is over and we've gone our separate ways, she's Facebook messaging me saying such and such happened on the train, and omg wasn't the tutor a dick today, and omg omg I like this guy and omg omg omg etc.
    I. Hate. Clingy. People.