close to breaking point

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DarkLordVader, Feb 11, 2013.

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  1. DarkLordVader

    DarkLordVader Well-Known Member

    i dont know how to word this in order for my post not to get deleted or flagged but i am extremely close to my breaking point. i have access to things that can hurt me immensely and possibly not being around anymore. today i feel as if my depression got worse, everytime i see a happy couple, hear a song on the radio, etc etc. i cant do my college work even though i have 2 tutors helping me, i have been threatened by social security that if i dont complete school and get a job they will CUT ME OFF!! so tell me why i want to live? there is NOTHING F--KEN positive in my life. there is NOTHING good to look forward too, there is NOBODY who cares. i am about sick and tired of calling these stupid hotline numbers where these people act like they give a sh1t when they dont. i am about sick and tired of being put on F--KEN waiting lists to see a doctor, like that will help anyways because i refuse to stop using alcohol and drugs. those are the only moments that make me feel happy. all i do is live for everyone else, do all their stuff, help them while they spit all over me in the process. there is no such thing as being or living a happy life, if anyone tells me that i usually spit at them and then curse them out to no F--KEN end. why am i feeling like this? WHY AM I FORCED TO FEEL LIKE THIS? WHO has cursed me to die like a animal?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    YOU and only YOU can chng the path you are on If you do not want to work with the doctors the professionals no one can make you hun. You are suicidal the best place to go then is to hospital where they can take the stress off you and give you some time to rest and to heal
  3. kinetickrown

    kinetickrown Member

    I feel your pain Carbie. I've been struggling with conformity myself and I have also found that this world is a cruel place and its hard to find a reason to live. It's seems as though everyone is telling me how to live my life and its totally stupid. People are always trying to keep me down and I'm just completely tired. I don't feel free. All I know is pain and its like what am I supposed to do?
  4. TheHopeless

    TheHopeless Account Closed

    i agree with everything that is said here
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