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close to giving up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GA_lost, Apr 9, 2009.

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  1. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    While at this moment I am not actively suicidal, I am a step or two before saying that. My life has been one of isolation with nothing to do and things I could/should be doing I am not. I live alone and have let my home and myself get into bad shape. I rarely take a shower and rarely change my clothes. No place to go or do equates to my doing nothing. I am managing to hold onto some hope but that hope is under attack for I do not see much to hold onto hope for. One way I try to keep the feelings under control is for me to burn myself. Nothing is really left for me now. I was essentially pushed out of a job I had for 23 years because my branch chief and team lead did not want me there. My choices were find a way out by medical disability, transfer, or possibly being fired. I have tried to find another way to fill my time but either I do not have enough money to do it or else my depression has been holding me back. I think about death and always make sure I have a way to try suicide. I am not actively looking for it though. If I were to sincerely decide to attempt suicide, I could be ready within a day or less.
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hello leacon,
    Welcome to the forum!! I too am an isolationist. I stay locked up in my room 24/7.. I only come out for appts. and to go to the store.. I had a management job, new vehicles, a house, and money to do what I wanted.. Then I had a nervous breakdown and lost everything.. I have isolated for the last 15 years. Only friends I have are here on the forum..
    Why don't you go to the ER and ask to speak to someone in mental health.. It wouldn't hurt to write down everything you are experienceing.. Then let them read it and tell them how close you are to commiting.. They will admit you and evaluate you..When you are discharged try to get a letter from them stating your state of mind.. They should be able to set you up with a shrink and a therapist..
    I am on disibility now and see my shrink every three months and my therapist twice a month..I have been seeing her going on four years now. She has made progress with me. I can now leave the house if I do it early in the mornings. I am suicidal also but between her and the meds i'm on I am able to fend off those thoughts dailey.. You have some work ahead of you but should be able to get some kind of support system set up.. Take care...
  3. Hayley

    Hayley Active Member

    Try getting another job, just try to motivate yourself. I know how you feel, sometimes I just can't bo bothered to get up in the mornings and stop showering or don't brush my hair or put on make up. I waste time lying in bed and I've gained weight because of it. I feel ugly, but I'm trying to make myself feel better about myself. I want to look good. I think if you were to have an incentive, however little to find a job you'd have an improvement.

    Try to thinnk of all the nice things you could have to make you feel nice. Then think of where the money would come from. YOu must feel lonely to post here, so tyr thinking of all the people you could meet at a new job. Or even consider volunteering, because then you'll feel like you're doing good for others and it's something to occupy your time and is a lot more flexible than a job. This could be a step before getting a job, until you gain confidence to look.

    Just try your best and don't give up, keep thinking of reasons why you're still needed here and if you can't, then make yourself have one by getting out there.
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