Don't know. Thought about suicide for the past 5 months now, have been much more depressed and upset than now, because now I feel numb and empty? Mum and I have constant fights, I'm too depressed often to tidy my room which causes huge arguments where she calls me horrible names and makes me feel more depressed which is a horrible cycle. She doesn't know about my suicidal feelings. Also have a partner who can't handle my horrible feelings. I am actually in a lesbian relationship although beforehand I wouldn't have ever dreamt of it? Just felt like I should go for it. Infact, I cheated before my depression and felt no guilt for several weeks before coming crashing down. I was arrogant, confident and it was very out of character? I hate cheating and feel absolutely disgusting for doing so. Started university a year earlier than most, always got good grades in school and these feelings have caused my grades to get worse and worse. I would never have met that guy either if it wasn't for uni. Made very few new friends and even then we are not close at all. Only thing that keeps me here is knowing that I can't let my little sister and brother and family have this burden on them, which causes me to further want to do it because I feel stuck and want out of here. I need to do something, just don't know what.