closest ive felt to suicide......I just want the misery to end

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by skizo91, Feb 21, 2014.

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  1. skizo91

    skizo91 New Member

    I am sick right now, dont know how serious or for how long, also I have anxiety disorder and huge depression, I hate my body, I have no life, etc... and now I will be called off to the military which is mandatory here, this means I cant be with the girl I love and she will leave me, I have just nothing to live for anymore, I am physically and emotionally suffering..... happy life is impossible for me....
    But I am still a coward and scared of suicide...... I just dont know what to fkin do.....all I have is my dreams but in reality they seem impossible at the moment :fatigue:
     
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Even with mandatory military service I presume they have physicals and physical requirements so they should be checking and you should go to your Dr now to find out what is wrong rather than just wondering if you already suffer from anxiety. One thing about mandatory service- since all do it , all are used to it and if the relationship does not make it through that then it would not make it through the rest of life's hurdles either. Being depressed before your mandatory service is certainly not something that only happens to you, it happens to many if not most. Get your physical issues dealt with to relieve that anxiety and then look at the service as what it is - just a step towards becoming an adult where you are like school, getting a job, and all those other things that are part of growing up. Time goes far more quickly than you think at the moment. Talking to others that are facing the same thing may help some as well.
     
  3. skizo91

    skizo91 New Member

    No its not just that, Im constantly feeling weird, and if I look up the symptoms it can be any of a million diseases so its no help..... Im just tired of being tired and running between doctors...... Im basically at the point when I will accept my horrible symptoms and just live with them because im tired of worrying, but sometimes its really overwhelming embracing the suck....

    and im not afraid of the military service im just afraid of being separated from my girl because of it...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2014
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    looking up symptoms on the internet , while it may be on rare occasion useful, is really no ta great idea for true diagnostics. A headache is simply a headache 99.9% of the time , but it is also a symptom for everything from brain cancer to spinal meningitis. Symptoms without corresponding diagnostic testing by a hospital or Dr are nearly useless and you are allowing anxiety to influence your worries abut health. Please see a regular Dr, get the actual diagnostic tests, and if you have seen a couple Dr's and they have done actual testing , most of the time with physical illnesses they will reach a correct diagnosis (even if the diagnosis is simply upset stomach or headache as an example). I hope you are able to get medical care you are comfortable with soon.
     
  5. skizo91

    skizo91 New Member

    yeah I am hyper anxious... been for years, even simply going to a clinic makes me anxious because Im certain that I will pick up more diseases....

    All my physical symptoms can be caused by anxiety, but I really dont know and im so sick of it already....


    I am just trying to think right now that my body is a supercomputer and totally capable of handling anything, need to trust and have faith in the power of my body and immune system....
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 21, 2014
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