closing down and wanting to die

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GA_lost, Sep 25, 2010.

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  1. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    I am trying to break a bad habit. When I truly begin to feel suicidal, I begin to close down. I have signed on and off this forum many times trying to convince myself to post this feeling. I want to end it. My life has become a secluded nightmare. I have nothing planned to do in the future, and my life now is nothing. To escape this feeling, I have been taking Xanax more often. I want to fade away into nothing and never come out again.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I know that feeling to well please don't do that don't isolate until you feel you are completely alone in this sadness. We are here to listen i am here listening and i do know how deep the pain and sadness can get. Please call your t call crisis just to talk to hear a real caring voice on the other end It helps it does bring you back to the living again. Please keep posting okay get that sadness out of you the pain out of you here so others can support you okay don't do this alone it is to hard. Call you t call doctors call crisis talk here just don't isolate okay i care and i know others do as well so please keep reaching out
     
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Keep posting GA. Don't let yourself shut down and don't isolate. We're here to help. :hug:
     
  4. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    hugs.

    i think when we try to close down, we try to isolate ourselves more, whether we want to walk the path alone or the pain is too much that letting anyone know is far too hard, it still hurts deeply either way. please keep letting us know how you are going. Hang with us, we are safe and we're all ears.
     
  5. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I think it's only natural that we feel this way as we grow more and more depressed and suicidal. Unfortunately, it only leads to more misery, making it a tough cycle to break out of.
     
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    GA_Lost, I commend you for trying to break this "habbit". I too know what it feels like to shut down and isolate. When I am feeling really horrible, I go from one mental health chatroom to the next but I just leave. I do not talk. I think that a component of depression is the feeling of being alone. Isolated. So perhaps the natural tendency is to just shut off, as you so well put it. But I think its great that you are trying to resist doing this. Each time you do resist it to any degree, this is a victory.

    I hope you will keep posting. Keep interacting. No matter how much you do not feel like doing that.
     
  7. GA_lost

    GA_lost Well-Known Member

    Thank You for replying. I needed to know someone cares. I was coming too close to a complete shutdown.
     
  8. Punk

    Punk Well-Known Member

    Resist.
     
  9. Huw

    Huw Well-Known Member

    Don't plan...just live!
     
  10. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Again, GA_lost, I really commend you for finding the strength to risk reaching out !! Depression brings with itself walls of isolation even when I am amongst people. I think a component of depression is seperatness. Perhaps the vicious cycle. I dont have answers. for me the only way to somewhat diminsh depression (and shutdown) in the moment, is to help other people. But sometimes I am unable to do that. Because I empath, its not always the wisest of solutions. But its the solution that is available for me at this time.

    I am not saying that helping others is a viable route for all people. Because its not. I am able to do that for now. As long as it is not irl, face to face.
     
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