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New bad news arrives daily. I do not have the mental or physical energy to deal with this shit. I know that my family will still have to deal with it when I am gone, but the 1 million dollars will take all the pressure off, at least for the next several years. I am just too old to start over in something entirely different.


Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend
What million dollars?? If you are talking about insurance, you may want to read the policy about suicide.. Alot of insurance companies don't pay benefits when it comes to suicide.. Is there no other path you can follow?? There are many paths both good and bad..The trick is getting you back on a positive one..Are you on meds?? Do you see a therapist?? There are good and bad therapists out there.. You may have to go thru several before you find the right one.. It took me three before I found Gina.. She's an old hippi so I relate to her.. Please don't harm yourself.. Thats not going to get you anywhere.. Give life a chance..


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No I do not have a therapist. I do not have insurance. I cannot afford to see a therapist.

I have checked and re-checked the insurance policy. Plus the state statute says:

(v) death that occurs within 2 years after the date of issue of the policy as a result of suicide while sane or insane.

The above is the only suicide exclusion allowed. It has been way past two years.

I don't have the mental or physical energy to fight any more. I am ready to give up.


Well-Known Member
Just to remind you that you do not really want to die…

You may not feel that you have the mental or physical energy to start all over again now, but this will pass…how you think and feel will change…

Money is not everything. What happened in the past cannot define you. Do you really believe how others think of you and your family would be better if you killed yourself??

The insurance money would be no good to you at all as you wouldn’t be here then…

Your family might have to deal with another form of pressure even if the money could be helpful in a way for a few years. Your daughter’s wedding would be completely different if she would still want one…

You want a new life…and you do have options…give yourself time to bounce back…go get some professional help or go to a pharmacy store to get some anti-depressant meds at least…


Account Closed
You make some good points. However, my career is over at age 57. I can no longer do what I have trained for and done my whole life. I have no other skills, nothing else I am trained for. I will be of no value to anyone the way things are now.


Well-Known Member
57 is not very old nowadays. You can still work for another 10 years? What if you go beyond the ego and do some legal assistant work (your experiences can be great asset in your practice area)? or whatever you were thinking of doing and have a chance to succeed?

It's very possible that you would not end it as you do still want to live...deep down you know this...

Think about living...divorce may not be so bad since you do not love your wife anyway...

Then you are free to do whatever you like...you will still have some money from the house and other assets...you may enjoy your new freedom...or even move to a different city...so many possibilities...

You are depressed...Go get some professional help...Give yourself more time...at least when you feel calm and clear about everything...


Well-Known Member
I'm in my late forties, also a man, and if you have paid for your home then retirement is not so bad. You might find work as elderly people do still work - and many train for computer skills a lot older than you!

At the least you can easily learn a few vital skills watching instruction videos on YouTube - its 'easy' to learn how to fix anything from a car to plumbing. You could use these skills locally - and save yourself money that you would normally pay others for.

As for life insurance, you cash it in and stay alive! They are worth a tidy sum of money and you might be able to invest this in some venture. At the moment you could just buy gold and that would go up in price for the immediate future.

Even better buy practical things now that will cost a fortune in the years to come!

I don't know how much the insurance firms pay when you cash in a policy still alive - its not a million - but if they have to pay a million eventually then maybe they will see the economic sense of giving you a good decent sum now which allows you to live and them to save money by not insuring you. Try phoning them up and asking.

Build your own oil reservoir, bulk buy dry goods, invest in solar panels or a generator.

Everyone is facing hard times due to the economies having to make the West cut back on the basics in the future and even now.

A million dollars is worth nothing if the economy collapses. Your family is better off with you alive with your wisdom and guidance over how to cope in hard times.

If you have a garden and can actually garden - there is another $1000 actual dollars worth of food less to buy each year.

Your value is not in the FTSE or the USA version of the stock markets. You are worth more than a cash sum - and your family will would be better off with you.

Money is nothing - we cannot eat it when our banks cheat us and eventually pull the rug - cash is only worth the goods it can buy and when those good become more expensive, it is the practical ways of saving money that older people are good at. We know corn comes from the ground - it is a plant - we also know water costs money - but many are near springs and could collect rainfall and dump the utility companies.

Your children and perhaps grandchildren would find your knowledge priceless when things get tough. The dollar is in danger due to the Chinese and Indian currency and cheap labour putting us out of work. We have to adapt and go back to jobs which create a product or produce we can trade.

If you can move to the countryside as its far nicer and easier to live without too much money. A family can help out with making use of all arable land . A packet of seeds now for salads and vegetables will rocket in price once people see the cost of a tomato.

A million might seem a lot - but a family with a few children might easily go through that in a year or two. Skills learnt in looking after yourself, growing and storing food - making repairs to property and 'stashing' a few hundred gallons of diesel would make you richer than people with more than a million.

Hope this helps.

PS - hope you can enjoy this retirement also - if you cannot find a paying job then work for yourself and family in other ways.

Good luck and God bless from a fellow 'older' man. you are still young really - but try and get a good quote off the insurance firm - maybe other firms will outbid and buy it also. good luck!

And God Bless from the UK.
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