Let me tell you first on how i got here... I was married for 3 years and was going out with her for an additional 3 . She had a son which i helped raise, hes 7 now. Anyways just before christmas she told me that she was not happy with me anymore . I tried everything, i planned counceling but to no avail. Then in January after i moved out i found out she has been seeing my best friend . i confronted both of them and they admitted to it. At this point i wanted the divorce. We kept it civil throughout but when the divorce was finalized she wanted to stay friends... i could not do that and told her what i thought of her for hurting me like this. Then i am not involved in her sons life anymore, she had put a stop to that. So in March i met someone , we clicked and she moved in with me (i know to fast i know) however i have been grieving alot. well then now to my current " situation" For the last week or so i have been contemplating to end it all, i am tired of being disappointed, tired that i failed at something important. I have been searching online for painless methods. Been working non stop for the last 10 days. I am scared to leave the house because i might run into one or both of them. I am not sure im not going to do something stupid when i see my ex best friend. I just feel plain miserable. Keep blaming myself for what went wrong. Here is the kicker though, i do not want her back , i do have someone nice now but still i feel like i am trapped on this world . that no matter how good my morals are that everyone just screws with me. I am out of ideas.