Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by AfraidofMyself, Jun 2, 2007.

  1. Oh my god. I am so hurt but furious at the same time.
    Today there happened to be 3 carry-out boys in the store I work at. All three of these boys are still in high school, about the graduate actually. Today I guess they decided it was time to pick on me as much as possible.
    Not only did they prank call the store SEVEN TIMES but they did it when I was insanely busy with customers. One came to the front shortly after and said that the last call was not them and that the guy complained to the manager about me being rude and hanging up on him. Guess what, I don't give a fuck if I lose my job now, little asshole. I don't care if it was you or not anymore.
    Then the other guy keeps saying I'm weird. He's keeps saying it over and over and over about everything I do. He even says that I smoke weed and I tell him no. He keeps asking why I am so laid back and such then and I tell him I don't know. You want to know why, asshole? Because years of people tormenting like you did today makes me do this on the outside so you don't see how much you're hurting me. You really want to see me freak out? You should have came home with me tonight because I sure as hell am going to flip out and hurt myself and have a panic attack--because of YOU.
    The third one just adds to whatever the others say. He continues to agree with them and make small remarks about my stupidity. Yeah, just keep on laughing at me, fucker...

    I wish I could tell the first one that he looks like a freaking 9 year old boy. I wanted so badly to say something to the affect of his penis is probably the size of a 9 year old's as well so he had no room to talk about perfection.
    I wish I could tell the second one that he's a fat fuck. He's so fucking desperate for a lay that he begged this big whore to go to prom with him, he paid for everything. In the end she didn't do anything with him--he actually came in the store and tried to buy porn that night and GUESS WHAT I didn't fucking sell to him!
    The third one is just an overall loser. He doesn't even have the mentality of a high-schooler. He's living back in elementary when everything was funny and cute and stickers were nice. Yeah, he has a box cutter with a sticker of a lady in a bikini in it--it's all he EVER talks about...ooooh we see how desperate he is now!

    The first one was remarking about my boobs today. He even said something to me today and I shrugged it off but it really bothers me. Don't fucking remark about MY body! I've struggled enough to be okay with this...PLEASE!

    Their comments have really bothered me today but I don't want to make a big deal out of this at the store so I just had to vent here. I may add later about how I feel because I'm sure I'm going to be pretty depressed when I start calming more from this.
    It's just, year after year growing up I was the one that everyone chose to pick on. I had to be protected by my mother, who came to the schools several times because people were bullying me waaay too much. I never do anything to these people--why do they HAVE to choose me to get their kicks from?!
    Please, you three guys, just leave me alone. You didn't live my life, you don't know how much this affects me.

    I'm tempted to quit now. I don't want to show up tomorrow.
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2007
  2. I am still not good enough, after all of these years. I am still the weird, strange one. I am still the outcast somehow. I still feel uncomfortable in social situations. I still don’t get along with my peers. The only people I ever seem to get along with really well are people older than me--and I think only because they ignore whatever is wrong with me.
    I am so upset about today. I don’t ever want to step foot back into that store but I have work tomorrow. I think I’m going to call in sick.
    I really do just want to give up on life. I just want to end it all. I’ve never been able to fit in. I'll never be able to fit in anywhere.
    I can’t do that though. He’s already been through enough and I don't want him to hurt any more. I want us to work out well. I have to try for him.

    I feel so vulnerable. I feel so naked in a room of eyes. I don’t know why I’m chosen to be picked on. I don’t know why I get so nervous in front of others. I know that when meeting new people I am very, very quiet at first but I do slowly warm up. Why can’t I do this with these people? Why can’t I be given the chance? They’ve ruined it now--I won’t ever be able to let my guard down and warm up to them. I won’t ever be able to be friends with these people. They will hurt me too.
    I tell this one carry-out boy all the time that my favorite co-worker is his mother, who is also a cashier. He doesn’t know but she is my favorite person in the entire store. She’s always been very nice to me, I feel like we’re on the same level. She’s caring and friendly but honest at the same time. I love to work with her because I know I’m not going to be belittled.
    The other cashiers are very pretty (and have big heads about it) or very talkative and open. This one lady is down to earth, a normal person. I don’t know if I’m normal but I’d like to believe I am. The more I think though, the more I am believing I am abnormal--I am too weird after all.
    I wish I could walk into a group and feel like I belonged there.
    I haven’t felt that way in my life.

    I now hate my job.

    Hoping for better days
  3. jcat

    jcat Staff Alumni

    sorry to hear about the work issues today. :( in a way i know how you feel. i hate my job too. do you feel comfortable here? for me, this is the first place in my life that i have ever felt comforable. i can be myself and talk about what is really bothering me. i talk a lot too. hope things work out for the best for you. be strong. alright. if you ever want to talk i'm here. :)
  4. AoM, I'm on MSN, if you want to talk with me. :hug:
  5. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    :hug: They're not worth it hunny, you know that :hug:
  6. There are workplace harrassment laws, which you could investigate.