cold... hungry... is there a god?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by aname, Dec 19, 2012.

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  1. aname

    aname New Member

    <Mod Edit - Acy - Methods> later...I just really dont give 2 sh*ts. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up, but both times I tried to off myself... it hurt. one by cutting, then by pills. the pills really could have killed me but I was so drunk I yakked most of them up.... but I was still barely conscious for 3 days. it was at that time that they locked me up in the psych ward.. I think I left that out of my earlier post.
    Yeah I know substances aren't the answer. Eventualyl they make you feel worse.
    Actually this post is... an attempt to get some spiritual guidance.
    I don't believe in godin the tradtional sense. I think theres something that keeps everything spinning yyou know *forgive my typing...) but I dont think its conscious and damn sure not benevolent. if there is a god, I feel certain it is neither god nor evil, if either of those things really exsist.
    However as much as I hate to admit it I feel certain that there is a hell. Heaven? doubt it. but definitely hell.
    I saw a demon two days ago.
    They are waiting for me.
    But is that any worse?
    To be honest is scared me so bad I started yelling stuff about jesus and all that to make it leave. fear is such a compelling argument. Is there help from the divine? I don't know.
    Passing out now,.
  2. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi, I've read your other thread too. I'm sorry you've been through so much.

    It's hard to think of good options if we're hungry and cold, so if you are without a place to live, would you consider going to a shelter? They likely would give you a meal there, too.

    It could be very worthwhile to find a good counsellor to talk to on a regular basis. Sort our your past and your feelings about it strand by strand. Looking at it as one big issue could be overwhelming for anyone, but breaking it down bit by bit might help.

    If you are truly seeking spiritual guidance, there are many avenues - churches, the Salvation Army, temples, synagogues, and the priests/pastors/rabbis/spiritual guides are supposed to be there for those seeking help. Alternatively, if we're undecided about "god" it might be a good time to look inside and examine your own "spirit" and what that means to you personally.

    You come across as someone who has dealt with a lot of hard things, but you have survived them. That means you have both courage and strength. I hope that you can dig inside and find a little more of both - and maybe find a counsellor. Keep reminding yourself that you have survived so much already...It's worth fighting on to see if you can get to a better spot in life.

    Keep sharing here. Please don't give up. :hug:
  3. liamthomas

    liamthomas Member

    I often wonder if this is hell and we are suppose to survive this retched place in order to move on.
    The only real spirituality is yoga and meditation everything else is marketing for donations.
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 19, 2012
  4. katrina77

    katrina77 Guest

    Acy gave some excellent suggestions on finding some spiritual guidance. And I hope you can find a safe place to stay, and get the food you need.

    Is there a God? Every person on Earth has asked this question, and usually, many times. You said you called out to Jesus when you saw a demon. What happened? Did you get any answers? Might be a name you want to call out again. That's the good thing about prayer. If no one answers, you've lost nothing. And if someone does, you may have just discovered the very secret of the reason we are all here.

    Best of luck.
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