Feel like there are two kinds of suicidal thoughts. "Warm" ones that are very emotional, and "cold" rational ones. If you simply know you have no future, in as getting a disease that will just make your future more and more miserable until it becomes lethal anyway, it feels different to me. It's not like you exactly want to die, it's not like you're undergoing a breakdown, you just want to set a limit. "Before I reach X point where my life becomes nothing but suffering that have no form of solution, I'd rather end it". Those are essentially my suicidal thoughts. It's not like I had a good life, but it seems I got used to this darkness. However health issues are something else. I've seen relatives slowly dying horrible death, and I know they wished they had died before the point where they couldn't even make that choice anymore.