Cold suicidal thoughts.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Lune Bleue, Jun 17, 2015.

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  1. Lune Bleue

    Lune Bleue Member

    Feel like there are two kinds of suicidal thoughts. "Warm" ones that are very emotional, and "cold" rational ones. If you simply know you have no future, in as getting a disease that will just make your future more and more miserable until it becomes lethal anyway, it feels different to me. It's not like you exactly want to die, it's not like you're undergoing a breakdown, you just want to set a limit. "Before I reach X point where my life becomes nothing but suffering that have no form of solution, I'd rather end it".
    Those are essentially my suicidal thoughts.
    It's not like I had a good life, but it seems I got used to this darkness. However health issues are something else. I've seen relatives slowly dying horrible death, and I know they wished they had died before the point where they couldn't even make that choice anymore.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your disease is not controllable or curable at this moment in time Whos to say that in the future they may have made better medication that will help your disease to have remissions or to take away some of the pain you will suffer I am sorry you see only a bleak future Take the day you have and live it to your best live it to your fullest connect with the ones you love and live ok don't dwell on the darkness
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Having dealt/ still dealing with both depression related suicidal thoughts and chronic terminal health conditions myself I honestly se very little difference. In the end both are emotional decisions and while I also try to rationalize them as logical and going to die anyway type thoughts the fact is that applies to every person on this earth- they will either get old and health deteriorate until die, or die from a sudden death of illness/accident/suicide. As soon as I thought about it and realized my situation was not actually special or unique in anyway in that aspect it allowed me to concentrate on ways to try to make things better instead of wasting endless hours trying to convince myself of something that was not true. It does not end the physical or mental pain in any way but it does in fact make it so I can keep it in perspective and not spiral constantly into even darker places.
     
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