Collapse

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Deleted SKU, Aug 24, 2010.

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  1. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    Its impossible for me to get there, to reach anything which will keep me happy. Day after day life has been getting better, slowly building on the good stuff that happens, actually beginning to feel confident about myself, not who i am, but who i could be, that i could do something which i aimed for. But how are you supposed to build a life on sinking ground. I'm back to square one again, all the good just wiped away, collapsed. I can't keep falling, i can't deal with this pain :'( i can't deal with it any more. I keep asking, how far do i have to cut away, how much of my existance do i have to get rid of, before i can try to build something which will stay with me... and the answer is everything. The pain goes too deep, it all has to go, i have to go. It makes sense, its human nature mostly to get away from pain, you don't keep touching an iron when its hot, but my life is pain, and i've kept trying to make myself live it, and that is just wrong. One last fall and its gone.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    you learn each time you fall you learn different ways to get up again you learn not what to do to fall again in that way. one day all efforts will pay off they say one day I understand the pain the frustration i do but hold on okay tomorrow may be that day the sun shines on the tides turn each day brings that hope it does stay here okay stay strong here let the pain out here each day it will help
     
  3. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    what i did this time was hope, and try, and want to be better than i am, want to make my life better... all i've learned that my life isn't worth trying for, if i can't do anything... well there is nothing else. i can honestly say to myself that i couldn't have tried harder to make things better.
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I understand that omg i do i have tried everythng to get help to get assistance i understand that fight and you have it okay. Don't give in okay
    You are worth it okay you are important as anyone else in this world You are special and if you are struggling then it is time to not fight on your own it is time to get someone to help you okay your doctors therapist someone to show you next step. fight i have been fighting so long but i won't give up because one day someone will care will give a dam and will help someone will and i will have the fighter in me still going ready for that day. Don't give up show them all you are important you do matter you are special okay please remember that.
     
  5. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    I just can't deal with feeling like this any more. I wish i could, but its too much. It didn't get better trying to sleep it away and forget. I tried so hard this time, i wanted to succeed, but i can't with everything falling down around me. At least now i am ready. Just hope one choice can be right.
     
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