I have been depressed for soo long that I forgot what it feels like to be happy. I miss my ex soo bad we were together for 6 years but she just wasn't happy any more so I had to let her go. Long story short I chased after her a week after we broke up because to tell you the truth I let her go because I knew I would be unhappy without her and I felt that I deserved that. But when it was all said and done I couldn't take it without her. But she did not want me back. She was the rope I held tight when I felt I was falling off the edge she was always there for me. I was always very depressed but she just made everything worth living for. Messed up thing is she made me promise her to never leave her and she fucked me over like this. She did not even talk to me after my grandfather died when I was soo low and wanted to end my life she did not seem to care how can someone you thought u knew soo well do this to you ???? Why make me fucking promise to be with her forever and she fucked me over I don't understand this at all. It is 6 am and all I could do was just toss and turn in my bed and think about this. Life is soo fucked up there is still war and violence being done out there even though it will not benefit any party. There are people out there suffering good people who need to be loved being left alone just because they are a bit different this world is soo fucking cold and cruel it makes me sick. The one fucked up thing is that my ex was soo depressed after we broke up she planned to kill herself she was even considered into going in to an institution as her depression got soo fucking bad but still she wanted nothing to do with me. I feel like I should hate her but I don't I love her more then anything in this world and I hate that I hate how even though she basically broke my heart and threw away the only reason I was still on this earth I still love her I don't understand any of this shit any more none of it makes sense.