They're becoming more frequent again. My fears and anxieties. I was doing alright for a good three weeks, but they seem to be coming back all over again. I'm so sick of this shit. People have been trying to give me encouragement lately. That I should put myself out there and go on more dates. That I should get more serious about publishing my writing since it's worthwhile. That I should get out more and meet new people. Anybody else feel extremely sensitive to rejection? Maybe it's just part of my social anxiety complex, but a lot of the reason why I don't ever take risks and just curl up into my comfortable little shell is because asking me to be in a situation where I could potentially be rejected is like trying to jump over the Grand Canyon. It's really nice inside this little cave of the mind I've built, but I won't let myself see past it. I'm so afraid. My sensitivity has never been this high. I feel like any form of rejection will push me to think about suicide again. I'm just kind of needing to vent and was wondering if people can relate to that at all. Today when I went to class, I felt kind of like I was having a panic attack and then my heart did this kind of flutter. It was weird and it scared me. I felt like it could have been the beginning of a heart attack. But all I could think of was how embarrassing it would be to die in front of so many people, not that I should go get help or something.