I have been on again, off again suicidal for some time. Over the past few weeks I am finding myself more accepting of doing it. I am feeling strangely at peace with the whole concept. I feel like I have gotten permission from my therapist to die. Weird situation, which I probably misinterpreted but it has made me feel better about it. I don't see a future, can barely live in the today. I feel sick, pin prick and flushing feeling when I think about trying to keep going. I am almost past the point of worrying how it will hurt other people. I am not more important than my family, but I can't live in this anymore.