Coming up for Christmas

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Madam Mim, Dec 22, 2010.

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  1. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    My father is staying with my sister from tomorrow over the Christmas period. He'll be 40 minutes away, and will be coming to my town to visit my other sister, when he'll be just four miles away. I can't express how scared this makes me, and no-one understands.

    They clearly don't remember what it was like to grow up around him. It makes me angry that he's been forgiven for all that he's done. I hate to see people being so nice to him, I just want to scream and show them what he's really like. All my sister's friends think he's great, such a nice guy. I'm the only one who remembers, who sees the truth.

    I have no idea how I'm going to get through this. I can't see him, I just can't.

    Mim
     
  2. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    I recognise the fear of being so near to an abuser and the anger that other people don't see it or have "forgotten".
    Will you have to see him or can you lie low over Christmas? Can you talk to your sisters?
     
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i understand completely. i choose to not see my family this holiday season. my sister pretends that nothing bad ever happened. i feel crazy because i no longer pretend.

    the last three times i saw my dad i was hospitalized immediately following. it made me that suicidal. not doing that anymore. took three times but i've learned. they are toxic to me.

    stay strong. don't see him. if you find you have to, make it short, take a friend with you, and leave plenty of time to decompress afterwards. plan to treat yourself well -- see friends, get a massage, go for a nice meal, have a soothing bubble bath.

    wishing you well whatever you decide. sending you a big hug, if okay.
     
  4. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Thank you both for your replies and support. I am going to try to avoid him completely if I can. If I have to see him, it'll probably be at my sister's house, so might just be manageable. Unfortunately, my sister's don't seem to understand why I hate and fear him.

    He's coming up to my sister's today, and I can't stand to see all the messages on facebook saying people hope he'll make it, etc (he's on her friendlist, not mine!). I just wish I could get him out of my life.

    Mim
     
  5. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Just know that you are better than him x
     
  6. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I often fear that I'm no better than him, but I wonder how much of that is just paranoia.

    I have told my sister that I want to avoid him at all costs, and she acknowledged that without argument, so that's good.

    Thank you for your support.

    Mim
     
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