Comparing problems?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by am I alive, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. am I alive

    am I alive Well-Known Member

    Comparing lives?

    I got an inspiration to make this thread reading Sadeyes thread about other forums she joined being threated badly.

    I know I am not a person which had the worse life in this world. I never been sexually abused or something, I am of good health, my family is fine too, but you know what? I have the right to be depressed too. I am almost 30, unemployed, alone, with probably some kind of psychical infirmity, well, thats more than enough for me to feel not only depressed but suicidal too.

    On that other local forum about depression ppl were start comparing their problems with mine saying that I am lazy and not trying hard and thats the reason for all my problems. Some of them have lost family members, others are sick and so on...

    To be honest I came to the point when anything else matters to me. If I got cancer right now I don't think I would feel much difference at all. If my mother die I don't know would I even cry although shes the only person close to me and care about me. Well, shes the reason I am alive so if she die I'll be dead too.

    What do you guys think about it?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 11, 2011
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    I find that it's virtually pointless trying to compare each others lives. Because we all go through different things and no one really knows what it's like to be you. They can try to 'imagine' all they like, but they'll never know what it's like to be exactly you.

    Interesting thing about that cancer you mentioned. I'd probly be happy that I got cancer if it happened....I would be in a state of "about fucking time", lol. It would mean I could finally say "good bye and fuck you all" to the world o_O, just not care about anything. I'd just do what I want because who cares, I'm gonna die anyway. But when you think about it, we all are. We just don't know when we're gonna drop dead(whereas a cancer patient *may* have a slightly better indication as to their 'date').
     
  3. Stripe

    Stripe Well-Known Member

    I think its only normal to compare ourselves to others around us wether we compare problems or sucesses. Its one of the ways that we gauge ourselves.

    Im not saying that we should make up a mental score board to decide how good/bad our lives are, but I think we can get something positive from hearing what other people have been through and how they overcame it. Particularly when someone has gone through a simular experiance to ourselves.
    I agree, no one will ever know exactly what its like to be you, but its nice when people listen and try to understand. It personally gives me some solace.
    On the other hand, if people are telling you that their lives are worse just so they can have the upper hand in a convosation, their probably not the kind of people who would care about what your going through in the first place.
     
  4. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    By feeling suicidal,this where we are all equal,this is where we share common ground.
    The most important thing thing is that we tune into our similarities then learn and accept our (shared?) differences.

    I think maybe both you and sadeyes have fallen prey to individuals who choose to live out mental and physicals disabilities online.Life actors who cannot find a sympathetic audience offline.
    They seek us out.

    The irony is they want what we have like it is precious,but there is no way on this goddamn earth that we are able to give it to them.

    Maybe in an odd way these people are keeping us going.Maybe their clueless mimicry and spiteful evaluations piss us off just enough to make us not want to sign out while they're on duty.

    But fuck 'em also.....they are douches.:yay:
     
  5. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    I think that when people have bad things happen to them and they're in an environment where they are surrounded by other people who have had bad things happen to them too, that it is only natural and expected that they'd compare their problems with other peoples, even just a little.

    I also think it's only natural that when people are having such low, depressed feelings of grief and are crying out to be heard and sympathized with that they'll tend to get a little bitchy and self-righteous. Kinda like, "Why should that person get attention and support when I'VE been through worse?!"

    That doesn't make what they've said or done right in any way, but I think that it's only human nature to act like that when put in certain situations. The exception with SF, I think, is due to the fact that a lot of the people here have taken on more of a supporting role rather than the usual, more 'victimised' role. A fair few of the people here have been through the bad times, gotten out the other side and are still here to impart wisdom and help, so SF isn't clogged up with as many people fighting for the most attention from eachother which may be the case on other suicide forums.