At this point I am afraid to even think and type what's going to happen next? Everything is just about gone, my will to fight is almost gone. I am angry, so angry I guess I have that and that's something right? I can't kill myself I don't have a gun, I don't have the money to buy enough to do it, I just don't know I guess I am just venting in real life I don't have a single person to talk to about this when I try to talk to my best friend she is too wrapped up in her own life (she maybe going thru a divorce and I just don't want to bother burdening her with this). I'll make this as short as possible and I apoligize in advance for any typos of misspellings usually I try to fix all of that but I am shaking so bad I'm wondering how I can even type or put one foot in front of the other. I was forced into taking being laid off from my job last year. At first I didn't really realize how bad the economy is and thought I've been working since I was 17 so I have a solid work history, maybe a couple of months off in between jobs when I was in my early 20's but since 94 I haven't been off at all. Fast forward to now: still unemployed and unemployment is about $9 a hour I used to make $22 (yes I am that stupid to mess up a job with great pay). Needless to say I cant pay my bills I will probably lose my car and I can't refinance it because my credit isn't great because I have some bills to clear up). My parent's informed me yesterday over lunch that they are going to let their house I live in go into foreclosure if the bank doesn't let them reduce what the owe by half because of the market value decreasing. So wonderful I will be homeless soon (moving home is not a option my parents live with my younger sister who sent me a text last year saying that I am a waste of life and I really should just kill myself and succede this time not like my previous attempts. So no I will not have any contact with her again in my life. Now I have to explain to my boyfriend tonight that this house is going to be foreclosed on that's going to be a great conversation. The only "up" side is that I did get a job offer yesterday it's part time and only $10 hour but in a few months it could become permanente so I've been searching franctically fro part time job #2. Why? I'm not sure if I want to just hide in a corner or hit something. I wish I could go buy a punching bag that might help me express my anger. Thank you for letting me vent I just don't know anymore.